If you’re a girl and you’re in your 20’s, odds are you used to be an Olsen twins fan. Before running a fashion empire, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen spent their time making embarrassing straight-to-VHS movies — and you collected them all.
I’m going to take you on a trip down memory lane and rank the top 10 most ridiculous Olsen twin music videos. Let me start by saying SEVERAL videos were considered, but I could only choose 10.
Here we go…
10. Makeover Machine
I’m not going to lie, when I was a kid I really wanted that makeover machine. Little did I know it was just the Olsen twins changing into random Halloween costumes behind a piece of cardboard. Also, why do the twins get a million makeovers while their friends only get 1? Screw that. I would never go to any of their parties.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbTrV_esDEk&w=500&h=315]
9. B-U-T-T Out
Dude, these twins are so badass. Kind of funny that their sister Lizzie is now a more legitimate actress than the two of them combined. This video is horrible, but it doesn’t get as bad of a ranking because I kind of love the line, “Hasta la vista, baby seesta”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlWD4KHD91M&w=500&h=315]
8. Meet You At the Mall
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SING EVERYTHING? Why can’t you just call your friend and be like, “Yo … we’re going to the mall, let’s go.”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-pDYLClCAs&w=560&h=315]
7. Pool Party
“After several hours, all our fingers and our toes will be like shriveled prunes only … they will not be edible.” WHO WRITES THIS?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXhXzw1WaEM&w=560&h=315]
6. Ice Cream Crazy
Warning: you will have this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day. No ifs and buts or may-yay-yay-be.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQS6nQx4gJ8&w=500&h=315]
5. Gimme Pizza
This is so, so, so bad. But I’m not even sure what’s worse — the song or the cheesy dialogue before it. Bonus points for the girl who sounds like she sucked on a helium balloon prior to this song.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6DA_WwO90c&w=500&h=315]
4. Decisions, Decisions
This was during their awkward stage when they were too old to sing about ice cream and pizza, but not old enough to sing about anything substantial. So, they decided to run around a random department store because that’s clearly what all the cool pre-teens do. (PS — Their “four weeks allowance” at the time was probably like, $10,000 … so they could’ve bought any of those items. Just saying.)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQuvV2uitU&w=500&h=315]
3. Critters On My Crackers
Okay, seriously they are singing about bugs and I can’t even deal. Also, what kind of budget did they have that they couldn’t spring for a more realistic bumble bee? Side note: How cool do you think that background dancer who gets to do the cartwheel feels?
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMpE7-NpPB4&w=500&h=315]
2. What’s All the Noise About Boys
Ugh. Mary-Kate and Ashley attempt to rap and it’s God awful. What the hell is going on at 1:55? Why was that choreography too good for the background girls? Was this supposed to be the Olsen’s big shining moment in the song? I’m so confused.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI-oSgN-6hk&w=560&h=315]
1. Sand
The worst. You know you’ve really hit rock bottom when you’re singing about fucking sand.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10sm9kKYomo&w=500&h=315]
[Lead image via]
