There are many different kinds of love in this world: the unwavering kind you get from your parents, the fun and comfortable love from your friends, the unconditional, all-consuming you get from your partner. But there is no love that is more necessary than self-love.
No amount of family members or friends will ensure that you always have someone to talk to at 3 am when you’re lying awake with anxiety. No amount of Facebook friends or Twitter followers will help you push past the darkest moments in your life. No amount of nights out socializing or family events to catch up will arm you with the necessary tools needed to endure your first heartbreak, chase after your dreams, or figure out what it is you want to do with your time on earth. They can help, certainly. But at the end of the day, you can’t let yourself rely too heavily on other people, or else your relationships become toxic and dependent. The only place you can find that kind of help is in yourself.
If you don’t love yourself, who else will, right? It’s important to learn how to be independent and how to take care of yourself because doing so will be the only thing in this world that allows you to truly take risks, embrace the beauty around you, and make the big decisions based on your own wants and needs– not somebody else’s.
Because when you love yourself you…
You don’t mind spending time alone and going to public places alone. Therefore you’re never restricted in what you can do. You don’t not go see a movie because no one else wants to see it. You enjoy the solitude you have. You don’t suffer from FOMO.
You don’t settle for less than you deserve. When you are constantly putting your needs on the forefront and taking care of yourself, you feel good and incest in yourself. When you have self-love you see no point in spending time with people who make you feel shitty.
People will treat you with more respect because that is what your confidence demands.
You will see more doors of opportunity start to open that otherwise wouldn’t have.
So how can you start treating yourself better?
Stop comparing yourself to others. Have realistic expectations, especially when it comes to your body. Focus on your strengths, not your weakness. Make a list detailing them. Don’t be modest about complimenting yourself. It is not cocky. It is necessary, especially in a society that capitalizes on insecurities
Stop seeking approval from anyone but yourself. You’re never going to get it from everyone, every day. It is in people’s nature to judge.
Synchronize your thoughts, feelings and actions. Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, so stop backing out of promises you made to yourself. Doing this is only proving to yourself that you are unreliable and incapable.
Treat and talk to yourself like you would a close friend. Forgive yourself when you mess up. Focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you still want to go.
We are quick (hopefully) to rid toxic people from our lives, but not nearly attentive enough when it comes to riding the toxic thoughts we tell ourselves, about ourselves, on a day to day basis. You need people in your life you can depend on. But the love and respect you have for yourself is the foundation on which all other relationships in your life are built upon.
