We’ve all heard it: Relationships are a lot of work. But at what point do you throw in the towel? At what point does it become obvious that you two just aren’t meant to be together forever? We know that it takes a lot of compromise and effort to make a relationship work long term, but there is a difference between sacrificing the small things and sacrificing your day to day happiness for the sake of companionship. It shouldn’t feel impossible. Below are some red flags that the fire between you and bae is starting to flicker out:
- You are becoming co-dependent. A healthy relationship takes two people– but what this doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean is becoming so dependent on one another that you start to feel like you’re merging into one person.
- Your arguments are about stupid, mundane issues. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, and from time to time butting heads and challenging one another is healthy. But when you start blowing things wildly out of proportion, it’s usually a sign that there is something much deeper bothering you– like subconsciously knowing they aren’t “the one.”
- You spend more time arguing than you do enjoying each other’s presence. Again, some disagreements are normal, expected even. But if you spend more time fighting than you do laughing, it’s probably time to leave.
- One, or both, party is trying to change the other one. There’s a difference between making someone better, and making them into someone completely different than who they actually are.
- You feel like it is a constant battle to make it work. Having to battle through a problem once in a while is okay, but if keeping the love afloat has become a day to day task, you probably are putting in more effort than it’s actually worth.
- Other areas of your life have fallen wayside, things that used to make you happy. Most of us know what it is like to become so wrapped up in a new relationship that you stop spending as much time going out with your friends. But in order to be your happiest, healthiest self, you need to make sure you are maintaining a balanced life outside of the relationship. That means going to your scheduled after-work yoga class even though your SO really wants to suddenly have dinner together.
- You have a gut feeling. If you clicked on this article, chances are your subconscious is trying to tell you something…
- You often find yourself thinking, “Things would be so much better if only…” It’s easy to tell yourself that once you make a few tiny changes here and there, everything will be perfect. But this quickly adds up, and gets to the point of having to accept that this particular relationship will never fulfill you in the way you need it to.
- You need to take space to “think things over.” More often than not, when a couple decides to “take a break,” that temporary space turns into a permanent breakup. Taking “space” is just a way to soften the blow, and change your mind in case something better doesn’t come your way.
- You can’t honestly admit that they make you a better person. Are you with them because you think they make you a better version of yourself? Or because you just like the security that comes with the label?
- You stop looking forward to seeing them. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, you should still feel at least a little bit of excitement at the thought of seeing your significant other at the end of the day.
Many of these things you may not even realize are true in your situation until you get brutally and painfully honest with yourself.
There are certain things that shouldn’t be an issue when you meet the right person. They say “When you know, you know.” But sometimes you’re just well, wrong. It happens. It’s not that you were never happy or right for each other, it’s just that you might have simply out grown each other. And that’s okay. It is not a reflection to your commitment to a relationship or willingness to make it work. Sometimes things are just beyond our repair. Besides, being newly-single can be kind of exciting..
