Today actress, “singer” and soon-to-be author Anna Kendrick turns 30 years old (though she doesn’t look a day over 21)– and this needs to be celebrated because, in addition to being an incredible actress, starring in major films like Pitch Perfect, Cake and Into the Woods, she also is talented in the sense that she has a refreshing and humble way of reminding women that it is okay to embrace who you are– especially your imperfections.
The platform where she seems to be most endearing is on Twitter (if you don’t follow her, do so now!).
Below are 30 of her best, brutally honest and often hilarious tweets… many of which you have probably thought to yourself at one point or another!
On adulthood:
“It’s cute how I used to think this ‘barely-holding-it-together’ feeling was temporary.”
“I don’t think I can call myself an adult until I figure out how use bleach in the laundry.”
“Being well adjusted is probably fucking overrated.”
“I like to think of myself less like ‘an adult’ and more like a ‘former fetus.'”
“It still blows my mind that I’m at an age where if I got pregnant people would be happy for me. #Yikes #Babies”
On hangovers & drinking:
“You know you’re hungover when you brush your teeth with your sunglasses on.”
“So, there’s NO existing service that rents puppies to people with hangovers? America, you have failed me.”
On acting like a bitch:
“Can I petition to make holding grudges an Olypmic event? Cause I’ve been in training my whole life.”
“For someone with such an intense need to be liked you’d think I would have figured out how to be less of an asshole.”
“Yes of course I got your text – I’m just ignoring it. Don’t make it weird.”
“You’re probably right.* — *You’re wrong, I just don’t want to seem like a dick about it.”
“Never a diva. But occasionally a real dick.”
“Working on my fantasy of what I SHOULD have said to that FedEx girl who gave me attitude.”
“Sometimes I think ‘I need to think before I speak’ and then other times I think ‘I shouldn’t leave the house or interact with people ever.'”
“I’m the police dog of finding stuff to complain about.”
On eating:
“Sometimes the best part of my day is imagining what I’m gona eat when I get off work.”
“Peanut butter on triscuits and I’m not even stoned.”
“Cooking for one sucks because no matter I portion it I seem to end up wasting food. Also loneliness.”
On Instagram:
“Gentleman, when you “like” a porn star’s photo on Instagram, it shows up on my feed and bums me out. Screenshot that shit and move on. #PSA”
“Is there a filter on Instagram that fixes Bitchy Resting Face? Asking for a friend.”
“I scroll past your Instagram videos.”
On sleeping & being lazy:
“What if I’m a sleepwalker, except I’m so lazy that even when I sleepwalk I just lie in bed. #ThingsIThinkAboutWhenImNotWorking #HelpMe”
“Being told ‘I know you can do this’ weirdly makes me not want to try… ‘You CAN’T do this’ has the same effect. Ok, yeah, I might just be lazy.”
“Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say ‘Netflix and avoiding responsibilities'”
“I don’t think I completely washed out my conditioner this morning so I’m gonna throw on some sweats call this day a win.”
And, finally, on pretty much everything else:
“If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?”
“Oh God. I just realized I’m stuck with me my whole life.”
“I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent.”
“I get the same feeling at the dentist that I get when a cop car is behind me: I haven’t done anything wrong, but I feel incredibly guilty.”
“Nothing seems to bond female strangers like ‘I love your [clothing item]’ and the reply: ‘it’s just from [somewhere cheap]’ #FlurryofChatter”
Happy Birthday, Anna!
