Shutterstock
From Shakespeare to werewolf Jacob Black of the Twilight Saga, unrequited love does not cease to inspire and to fascinate the masses for one reason: one-sided love is, perhaps, the most painful heartache that a romantic will ever endure. And it also seems to be the most commonly felt.
It may take quite a long time to accept that the ‘special someone’ that you have become attached to does not think so special of you in return. False hope that feelings could shift in the future can give way to a vicious cycle of pain, frustration, and disappointment- very different from what a healthy relationship should be.
Sacrificing your time and energy for a person who does not love you can act as a significant obstacle in the way of finding true love. The sad truth is that we cannot always control who it is that we fall in love with and so it is important to recognize when feelings are not mutual. Having a string of past relationship disappointments can make you more likely to continue dating someone who is less than invested.
“[You’re] more likely to accept the lack of reciprocity for the sake of saying [you have] someone. Regretfully, [you] inevitably end up settling,” said author and relationship expert Alexis Nicole White.
Shutterstock
Participating in a happy and healthy relationship is supposed to be emotionally fulfilling for both partners, but unreciprocated emotions can be a major blow to a partner’s self-worth.
“It is not a good decision to settle for ’emotional crumbs’. Unfortunately, many partners do out of fear of being alone or dealing with changes in finances, parenting, homes, and other major changes. But crumbs can never bake the cake of love,” said Dr. Lesliebeth Wish, a licensed clinical psychotherapist.
And we all deserve a slice from the cake of love.
“Before you decide to leave, get counseling to see if your view of the relationship is accurate or healthy,” Dr. Wish said. “Learn ways to express your feelings of not being loved, and develop a different understanding of how you and your partner show love.”
Shutterstock
It is difficult to accept that the person that you love does not love you, but by being honest to yourself, you have taken the first step in moving on. Despite how much you love someone, you deserve to be loved in return and there is plenty of fish in the sea that can give you that.
“It is never okay to just accept the bare minimum from someone; it’s called settling,” says White. “Stand your ground and clear space for the real thing!”
