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Nothing is more satisfying than finally matching with someone you like on Tinder. However, it doesn’t end there. In fact, the flirting is just about to begin.
If you’re lucky, they might text you first. Don’t wait for that to happen though, because in some cases, it doesn’t. Regardless of who starts the conversation, messaging with someone on Tinder can be quite overwhelming. There’s too many innuendos, and too many unwritten rules to remember.
In this article, let me share some tips to remember when flirting with someone you have matched with on Tinder.
- Start with a witty remark – Unless you’re the only match the other person has made, there is nothing they would find compelling about your “hey” or another one-line equivalent. The likelihood of you receiving replies to such a message is pretty low. Maybe you can start with a smooth pick up line, or a joke about anything which may be related to something on their bio, or their photo.
- Flatter them – Nothing is more effective at getting someone’s attention than a genuine, well-put compliment. Make them feel that you are interested in them by commenting something nice about them. You may throw in a compliment about their appearance, but even better, compliment them on their intellect, sense of humor, or wit.
- Work on your questions – By asking thoughtful questions, you are showing the other person that you are interested in getting to know them. But not all questions are created equal. Mind how you formulate them. If they tell you they like a particular movie, ask them what they thought of a certain character in it, or how they felt during a certain event in the film. You may also ask questions about their bio. If their photo was taken in the Great Wall of China, ask them about the trip. If their profile says they speak three languages, ask them what they are and how they learned them. The key is to avoid generic, formulaic questions.
Side Note: If everything goes well after you meet them in person check out these text messages for after your first kiss.
- Be responsive – Delaying your responses is a cheap way to look mysterious and interesting. If you’re unable to respond right away, apologize as soon as you’re available again, and pick up the conversation. Responsiveness is virtual dating’s equivalent to punctuality in an actual date. If you don’t make it on time, the other person will just assume you’re uninterested and move on.
- Reading them – Just like dating in real life, it’s important to be able to read the other person’s response appropriately. If you’re getting positive responses from them, you may gradually take it up a notch, but don’t do it abruptly, so as not to freak them out. On the other hand, if the other person does not show much interest, move on. You may come up with an excuse so you could end the conversation, but do it nicely.
- Sustaining their interest – The first part of the interaction is the hardest, so congratulations if you’ve overcome that without getting unmatched. Now the next thing to do is to sustain their interest. This is when playful teasing comes in. But make sure to keep it light, and make it clear to the other person that you’re joking. You may end your jokes with an emoticon to indicate as much.
You don’t wanna keep talking about yourself. People on Tinder hate that as much as people in real life. You may throw in some remarks if they talk about something you have a common interest in, but don’t dominate the conversation. Try to sense if they’re interested in a certain topic, if they show no interest, talk about something else.
Don’t be creepy. One common mistake people make on Tinder is they get too sexual too quickly, turning the other person away. You may save those things for later, once you’re more comfortable with each other, and have already developed some relationship.
- Knowing when it’s time to take it up a notch – Once you’ve already built rapport with them, and they have shown sufficient interest in you, then it might be time talk outside of Tinder, maybe exchange Snaps (or WhatsApp). At some point later, you may already bring up the idea of meeting in person, which is what we do Tinder for anyway.
Conclusion
Flirting on Tinder, though significantly less stressful that an actual blind date, is not without its fair share of overwhelming considerations. We hope to have given you tips that help, but most importantly, just remember to be kind, honest, and confident. Those things go a long way when flirting, both on Tinder and in real life.
