First of all, it made me realize that although I want to change, I don’t want to beat myself up for beating myself up (being negative). Though I think my case of negativity is a special one because of how harsh I can be towards my body (and that it in turn effects my body image and is a reflection of my insecurities), I’m definitely not alone or abnormal for having these negative thoughts. Second of all, it reassured me that I have a perfectly functioning, normal brain and I don’t have to spend any more time worried if there’s a wire loose or anything.
So here’s another thing this challenge has taught me about myself -- It’s REALLY hard for me to keep my promises. But only when it comes to me, I always follow through with promises I make to other people. This is probably because when the person on the other end of the promise is me, there’s no one to hold me accountable for that promise. To be perfectly honest, I’ve fallen off a little this week.
Normally when I would hear kind words about my body from others, I’d comment on how I still had a few more pounds to lose or how I wish could wear this or that. Sometimes it’s good to just take it. Bathe in it. Smile about it. Whatever.
As everyone knows, college is the time that most of our bodies go through changes. Some of us develop our feminine curves because that puberty thing didn’t happen when they said it would (hooray for boobs and hips!), some of us gain the “freshman fifteen”, and those special others get active and involved and get the best bods they’ve ever had.
Sep 3, 2011