Resolutions have never been my forte. The promise of a new year and a better me just isn’t enough to keep me from binge drinking and blowing off the gym every now and again in order to watch a full day’s worth of TBS. What can I say? Resolve just isn’t one of my stronger qualities.
Every time I turn on the television, pick up a magazine or check my Twitter and favorite gossip websites, there are certain celebrities that just won't go away. They're always doing something idiotic or annoying and they make sure we all know about it. These particular celebs have taken over 2009 and I'm not about to let them ruin 2010 for me.
Drinking on the job seems like such an enticing idea. Make the work day a little more bearable, ya know? I know I'd be a hell of a lot friendlier to those jerks taking out books at the campus library if I had a little Ketel One in me. Sure, I'd be making 412 runs to the bathroom, but everything is more fun when you're drunk...and re-shelving books could use a little boost of fun.
Whenever a new romance blossoms in my life, I can only enjoy it for so long before I start to fear the inevitable. Sure everything is rainbows and snuggles now, but what happens when you reach that certain point? You know the point I'm talking about; when things are more than casual, but neither of you are ready to discuss delving into a relationship quite yet.
Dec 16, 2009
I always find myself procrastinating so much during finals week that sometimes I have to procrastinate from my original procrastinating. You know it's bad when you have to take a break from what you were doing to take a break from your studies.
Dec 15, 2009
Tis the season for reflection, and I am reflecting on my past year and groaning. There were highs, and there were lows, and there were things that should never happen again for the sake of my dignity and overall well-being. The 2009 version of me was a lesser version of the forthcoming 2010 edition; I just know it. 2010 will be the year of Brittany, 2.0!
Dec 15, 2009
If we’ve learned anything from this whole Tiger Woods debacle, it’s that some women simply can’t resist the glory of sleeping with a celebrity. And who can really blame them? You put Chase Crawford in front of me and there’s no telling what I would do in order to get him undressed and into my bed. And if it takes heavy drugs and a blindfold, so be it.
No offense to you, James Cameron. I love what you did with Titanic. It was a cinematic masterpiece that will remain close to my heart. But I do not think I can say the same for your new movie, Avatar. It may be the culmination of your life’s work, but honestly, the blue animated people look plain stupid.
It’s hard to put into words how much I love Bravo’s series Top Chef. To say I have formed an unhealthy obsession with it is an understatement. I can literally sit on my couch for seven hours straight without blinking an eye if I happen upon a Top Chef marathon.
MTV is really getting their ass handed to them after the controversial premiere of the new reality series “Jersey Shore.” Not only has Dominos pulled out as an advertiser for the show, but MTV has also apparently received death threats from unhappy viewers.
By now you've probably seen the pics of Lindsay Lohan's latest photo spread for Muse Magazine. I am going to need the name and address of the person who told Linds that it was ok to look like a crack whore, because I would like to personally punch them in the face.
Leave it to Lady to take the phrase “Ho, ho, ho” literally. I’ve never heard so many Christmas-themed sexual innuendos in one place as I have in her new holiday song featuring Space Cowboy. In fact, I didn't even realize so many existed. I'll never be able to look at a Christmas Tree the same again. Not that I'm surprised; I’m just impressed GaGa beat Britney and Lil Jon to it.
I vividly remember the times when Salt-N-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk about Sex” would come on the radio while I was being chauffeured around by my mother. I would plead to the heavens above that she would not take this opportunity to actually talk about sex with me. I dreaded the conversation that I knew was coming.