John - UConn

Articles Written
96
LATEST ARTICLES WRITTEN
Apr 11, 2010

Overheard: Things We Like to Do

(Girl, bringing a drink back to a table.) Guy: Whad'ya get? Girl: It's a gimlet. Guy: Oh. We usually freeze those. Or put them in the gravy.

Mar 28, 2010

Overheard: Hand-to-Boob Combat

(Two girls, on a campus bus.) Girl 1: So did they have sex? Girl 2: No, they boarded Penetration Station but the train never left.

Mar 21, 2010

Overheard: What Am I Made Of

(Guy and girl in tour group, walking through campus.) Guy: Flying's weird. Turbulence feels like you're ... hitting a ton of small animals, or something. Girl: Ohh-kay. Don't know you well enough for that kind of humor yet.

Overheard: Maya on Faya

(Guy, girl, in a restaurant.) Guy: I've heard from Davis and Florida State. Girl: Wait, Florida State? Where's that?

Mar 14, 2010

Overheard: The Rumpus Room

(Girls, talking at dinner.) Girl: Today was horrible. Girl 2: Yeah? Girl 1: I had the worst headache. It was so bad, I couldn't pee.

Mar 7, 2010

Overheard: Human Sized Hamster Ball

(Two girls, walking) Girl 1: OK, we take this to the grave. Girl 2: Yeah, no one can find out. Girl 1: Kinda like the time I cried in the Lizzie McGuire movie. Girl 2: Or when you peed on Stacie's boots

Feb 21, 2010

Feb 14, 2010

Overheard, With Feeling

(Girls, at breakfast.) Girl 1: How was the party? Girl 2: Weird. Some guy and his girlfriend trapped me in the bathroom all night.

Feb 7, 2010

Overheard: Go Watch the Super Bowl Instead

(Girls, watching television in the lounge.) Girl 1: I just like Peyton and beer. Girl 2: I'd hit Peyton. I'd hit his chin, too, if he had. one.

Jan 31, 2010

Overheard: Dry Heaves

(Two girls, walking.) Girl 1: So how was last night? Girl 2: It was great. Craziest sex I've ever had.... But I'm worried. I think he might like me.

Jan 24, 2010

Overheard: I Was One of Those Ships

(Girl, on the phone.) Girl: Uh, just so you know, that pee in the bed last night was yours, not mine.... Yeah I'm sure.... No as soon as I heard that coming out I grabbed my pants and ran out.... Yeah, I'll need to come get my bra later.

Jan 17, 2010

Overheard: Slim Pickings

(Girl, complaining in the student union lounge.) Girl: I used to like Gaga, you know, back when I thought she was a hermaphrodite. Like, I'd watch her, and I'd be like "yeah, this is good, I like this," but I was always on my toes. Because you never know when something might just - pop out! It was exciting.

Jan 10, 2010

Overheard: Son of Sam Eagle

(Two guys, in the lunchroom.) Guy 1: I'll give you a hint. His name rhymes with Awesome. Guy 2: Plawsome. Guy 1: No.

Jan 3, 2010

Better of Best of Overheard, 2009

(Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.) Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke. Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke? Girl 1: Okay, yeah.