Guys are generally expected to always be willing and able to have sex, and it can be a blow to the self-esteem to be rejected for any reason. However, you shouldn't take that out on the guy.
In real life, I'm more ambivalent about inviting someone else into the bedroom, but in hypersexualized fantasy life, I'm all about having a threesome with another girl.
Turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, an obligatory spoonful of stuffing, challah, pie. Also, since today is my birthday as well, I have plans to get deeply intimate with a cake. So...between all that plus watching the Thanksgiving episodes of Gossip Girl, I don't think there's any time to get frisky with the boyfriend.
Everyone has the right to place boundaries wherever they want, and I feel like part of being a mature sexually active adult is being aware that no one is ever obligated to be completely available to you.
So sometimes sex gets dull. That's just the nature of doing something over and over and over again. Naturally, we do all kinds of things to keep sex exciting, from dirty talk to role play to trying different positions and locations. Then, of course, there are toys
As long as you're not engaging in self-destructive behavior that leaves you feeling disgusting or worthless, and as long as you're treating your partner with respect, I don't see any problems with having sex for reasons other than sharing a mutual attraction.
Nov 7, 2013
If you're one of those shy-but-horny girls who finds it difficult getting it in on a typical party night (or if you're just DTF), you have absolutely no excuse to go home untouched tonight.
Oct 31, 2013
I've accidentally become a pro bono therapist/life coach to people in my life because I can listen to any of their problems and generally keep a poker face and I can easily offer non-judgmental sentiments.
Oct 24, 2013
You're not a lesser person just because you're not in a relationship.
The element of surprise is not always fun, you know?
I can't help but wonder how brainwashed I've been and whether or not my preferences are really my preferences or if I've just mindlessly accepted things because it was easy.
Initiating can be a daunting task, but it's actually really simple. The worst case scenario isn't that terrible, and the potential payoff is pretty amazing.
Being able to navigate awkward conversations with your partner is a really important skill. It takes courage to open up about fantasies and being sympathetic and not freaking out when someone reveals something you find unappealing is key to diminishing the awkwardness.
Tons of women have awkward stories about guys who were definitely sprinters as opposed to marathoners. But there's an inverse to this problem - the guy who can't or doesn't come in a timely fashion.
It's definitely a tiny bit heartbreaking when something that brings you pleasure ultimately doesn't agree with you.
I love having a boyfriend. I love the stability. I love the comfort. I love the support and the casual movie nights and the snuggles and all of that great stuff. But, on occasion, I do daydream about what it would be like to be single.
After two decades of listening to pop music, I'm increasingly desensitized to the grimy messages that are perpetuated. That said, what irks me about the song is the delineation between "good girls" and "girls who openly love sex."
Sometimes it's because I'm in a dark mental place and arousal is the last thing on my mind. And sometimes...my reasons are maybe less sympathetic.
Are you ready to feel ancient? It was exactly 10 years ago that The OC premiered and stole our hearts away with the drama, the romance, the music, and of course, Seth Cohen.
I have incurred a gnarly cut on my lip via a midnight bathroom run in the dark gone terribly awry. I've also been hit on more in the last five days than in the preceding six months.
For as long as I can remember, my daydreams/fantasies regarding sex always featured me in a mildly submissive role while the guy was always the more experienced/dominant one.
I try not to judge others' sexual proclivities, I really don't. But every time I hear someone refer to the guy they're dating or interested in as "daddy", I can't help but cringe.
Upon first read, it's so easy to scoff at these hypocrites and feel so superior because, thank Beysus, I'm so much more enlightened than that.
Is it totally unsurprising that RuPaul's Drag Race contestants tend to have more personality in one acrylic nail than most people have in their entire bodies? Exactly.
While no one generally associates today with being sexually charged, I totally believe any occasion can be sexy if you're down to be a little creatively silly.
During one really unfortunate lonely summer, I sent nudes to dudes on Craigslist. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I used to send him nudes and explicit texts and emails. That all started to taper off once we became more serious and it was a given I'd be seeing him regularly.
There are certain traits found in these so-called crazy girls that are actually completely rational and should be embraced by everyone.
Of course, I'd heard of using ice cubes as a means of foreplay, but actually sticking it in one's vagina? My first reaction was of abject horror, but I found myself idly thinking about it the other day and I started to become intrigued.
We as a society have these arbitrary notions of what an appropriate number of sex partners is, so the expectation is that anyone who thinks they fall outside of the standard deviation is probably going to lie. The trope goes that guys will exaggerate, ladies will omit, and all inexperienced people will pad their sex resume.
It's kind of hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that there are still people out there who are faking orgasms. If you are one of them - stop. Please.
I was scouring the web looking for inspiration for this week's column, and after the billionth "How to Blow Your Man's Mind" article, I reached the zenith of irritation. Not only are all of those articles redundant (the answer is always anal or BJs), heterosexist (not all ladies date guys, and lesbians do read mainstream media sites), but they're so disempowering.
I was semi-convinced I was going to die un-penetrated and unappreciated. And then I ran into the welcoming/terrifying arms of online dating and those fears became a distant memory.
I can understand withholding sex if you're trying to weed out people who are interested in getting to know you as a person rather than just trying to get to know your vagina. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who out there who misrepresent their intentions and pretend they want to pursue something serious when that's not the case at all.
I was brunching with some ladies the other day, and naturally the conversation turned to guys and sex. Unfortunately, some of the girls have been experiencing some really bad sexual juju.
I can only spend so much time alternating between making eye contact with my boyfriend and staring at his business before I start to get kind of bored. So I've come up with a few ways to subtly stymie any boredom that may crop up.