Jun 9, 2010

The Hills: The City Where Nothing Really Happens

It took every fiber of my being not to fall asleep during last night’s episode of The Hills. And not because I only slept for four hours on Monday night after an outdoor beer pong tournament went a little longer than expected. That sh*t was just boring. Boooooring.

Nov 11, 2009

Bar Brawls Are Boring In The Hills

The main reason any of us watch The Hills is because the lives of all those pretty people in L.A. are more exciting and dramatic than our own. They go out to fabulous clubs, they eat at the best restaurants, they drive the nicest cars and they hang out with the prettiest people. And they get into bitch brawls at the bar.

May 5, 2009

The Hills: Not as Suspenseful When We Know Speidi Gets Married

Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, but Brody did come out of his hotel room in Hawaii and tell all the boys that he cheated on Jayde, right? (And what the hell kind of stripper name is Jayde, really?!) Does Brody consider sitting up all night talking about his GF with another girl cheating or was he just trying to impress his friends by telling them that he cheated?

The Hills Finale: Shockers and Drama and Boobs. The Usual.

Before I begin my final recap of The Hills for this season, I would like to give everyone out there...

The Hills: Moving Out and Moving On

So, tonight’s episode kinda sucked. (Almost as bad as that picture to the left. Fo realz.) The best part of...

Dec 8, 2008

The Hills: Why You Bangin’ Justin Bobby?

So, I was gone for a few weeks and missed out on a lot of Hills recapping. I was so...

Nov 3, 2008

The Hills: TEQUILA!!

Well, tonight’s episode of The Hills definitely made up for last week’s lackluster performance. Big things happened! Audrina moved out!...

Oct 14, 2008

Candy Dish: Welcome to the Gun (Shoe) Show

Madonna is dressed to kill…literally Bush hates pirates Getting sick in college for dummies McCain doesn’t roll on Shabbos Don’t...

Oct 10, 2008

Candy Dish: Why Can’t the Real World Be Like Comic Books?

Steven Colbert and Spiderman = genius Audrina is a lying idiot Annnnd Whitney is getting her own spin-off! Seriously.  Don’t...

Oct 7, 2008

The Hills: Drinks Are Never Harmless

Last night’s episode of The Hills was monumental. Huge. The early-20s-drama-rific equivalent to the falling of the Berlin Wall. (Thanks...

Sep 23, 2008

The Hills: An Episode When Stuff Actually Happened!

For the first time all season, last night’s episode of The Hills was action packed! I was actually not that...

Aug 26, 2008

The Hills: Spencer and Lo Duke it Out for The Douchebag Award

After watching last night’s episode of The Hills I couldn’t sleep. I was restless. I was angry. I just didn’t...

Aug 11, 2008

My Breakup with Lauren Conrad

Dear LC, Dear Lauren Conrad, Hey chica! First of all, I want to say I totally respect you as a...