Chuck Bass

Dec 7, 2010

Gossip Girl: And The ‘Mother Of The Year Award’ Goes To….

Let me get this straight. Juliet has been terrorizing the Upper East Side in her outlet mall dresses for months because Lily WhateverHerLastNameIs wanted Serena to get into a good high school? SERIOUSLY?

Nov 16, 2010

Gossip Girl Recap: This Isn’t J’s First Masquerade Party

The entire season of Gossip Girl thus far has been the foreplay to the ultimate climax in a brewing 'Serana take down' courtesy of Team Brooklyn (i.e. Jenny, Vanessa, and Juliet). And not the good kind that gets you all hot and bothered. More like 'what the hell are you doing with your hands, drunken frat pledge?' foreplay. Read: horrific.

Nov 9, 2010

Gossip Girl: Everyone Sucks on the UES

I don't know what those Gossip Girl writers are smoking over there at CW HQ but it must be laced with something bad because this show has turned into the worst piece of crap in TV history. Seriously, I think I'd rather watch a Hoarders marathon than this dribble. This episode just makes me so angry.

Gossip Girl: Little J Gives Blair a Goodbye Kiss…Of Death

Alright everyone, take a moment to remain calm. Is your hair in missionary disarray, just like Serena's after her night with the "cab stealer?" Mine is. I was ready to tear it out during the entire episode. Then I came to my senses, fearing having to get extensions like Jenny's. OH THE HORROR.

Gossip Girl: I Almost Forgot How Much I Used To Enjoy Your Pie

Have you ever been so excited for something - counting down the minutes, planning your day around it, fantasizing about how amazingly awesome it is going to be, turning off your cell phone so you won't be interrupted - only to be totally disappointed? Yeah, welcome to the day I lost my virginity my Monday night.

Gossip Girl: Chuck Tries to Reward Eva for Her Tricks

I was way excited to dig into this week's Gossip Girl. Did Juliet finally get Botox and a new wardrobe so she could at least appear five years younger? Is that french fairy, Eva, going to touch Chuck with her magic wand? Is Dan going to get the sensation of baby poop out of his nostrils?

Sep 28, 2010

Gossip Girl: Georgina Flies the Coop and Dan Cleans Up Milo’s Poop

First of all, who else wants to squint and lip sync "XOXO GOSSIP GIRL" whenever the episode comes to an end? I know I do, every single time. Anyway, down to business. Clearly whoever pitched this inning of GG had a seriously mean side arm.

Sep 21, 2010

Gossip Girl: Just Because You’re Dressed Poorly, Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Chuck Bass

Only on Gossip Girl can the episode begin with two beautifully (albeit overdressed) designer clad ladies eating crumpets at a spicy cafe in Paris while discussing Blair's future date with Louis, whom is (naturally) a Prince. I'm serious, the Disney Channel couldn't make this sh*t up.

May 21, 2010

The Weekly Wrap-Up: Goodbye Gossip Girl, Hello Summer

Classes are out, exams are over, and I am thrilled to announce that outside my window it is a blissful 78 degrees. Dearest readers- the summer season is within reach. With the heat comes a breezy wardrobe, new flings, and a fresh excuse to document all the places you get drunk with those arm-out pictures that crop off half your face.

May 18, 2010

Gossip Girl: Jenny Humphrey Ruins Everything

Holy hell, the hits just kept on coming. First we discover Dan and Serena did a little lip-locking, then Jenny sells out her own bro in some evil plot to get Nate to love her perhaps we should send her a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You"?), then Blair finds Jenny in Brooklyn and does probably the meanest thing she’s ever done.

Mar 23, 2010

Gossip Girl: Jack Bass Is Back

If I had to choose who I'd want to win in a boxing match between Jenny Humphrey and Jack Bass, I honestly don't think I'd be able to it. That would be like asking me to choose between rolling around naked with Joel McHale for an hour or getting 24 hours to eat as much Costco cake as I want without having to count the calories.

Mar 16, 2010

Gossip Girl: The Past Belongs To the Past

Everyone knows Gossip Girl is not real. Unlike "The Hills" and "The City," who try to play themselves off as reality, Gossip Girl is simply a scripted indulgence with a little over-the-top drama peppered in...every 5 seconds. Still, though, sometimes I'd like to think that this show, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures, maintains some semblance of what life is really like on the UES of NYC.

Mar 9, 2010

Welcome Back Gossip Girl…and Chuck’s Mom?

Yesterday was a good day. I had a really tasty muffin for breakfast, my mom took me on a mini shopping spree (where I finally saw Lauren Conrad's line for Kohls in person - not great, but it did have a few really cute pieces thrown in amongst the crap), and then I returned home just in time to watch the return of Gossip Girl (and fast forward through all of the commercials)!