cosmopolitan magazine

Sep 6, 2011

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: September Edition

My sex life has taken a nose dive into success before even opening the magazine! Because this month, I'm going to go naked and feel pleasure (awaiting the article fully clothed and by myself), learn about what my va-jay-jay is telling me (aside from calling it something sexier than a va-jay-jay), and about my bad-boy index. Can't wait to see what a naughty fox I am.

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: February Edition

Mila Kunis reminds me why I look at cupcakes like they are human, cellulite saddle bags-taunting me to eat them, like my stomach needs recognition that I'm not from a third world country. She is just so hot.

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: October Edition

When I saw October's cover of Cosmo, the headline 'Own His Orgasm! What Men Really Want Right Before Blast Off,' I almost considered going to church next Sunday. Whoa, Cosmo. Pump the breaks a bit, shall we? I haven't even busted this baby open yet and I'm already getting weird stares from the check-out lady in Target.

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: July Edition

True to form, this month I loyally snatched my July edition of Cosmo. I couldn't help wondering what on earth my girl Shakira was wearing on the cover. Was that a lace leotard and jeans? And after seeing the headline: "Vaginas Under Attack" I couldn't wait to snap open the magazine, whip out my notepad and get reading. Just like middle school!

May 18, 2010

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: June Edition

Every month when I pick up my Cosmo, my roommate always picks it up off the coffee table and starts to read it. It’s entertaining, I know. But really, the only reason I read it is for research for this column. Don’t people (a.k.a my roommate) realize this magazine is filled with nonsense?! It doesn’t even have juicy celeb gossip to read to make me feel like I’m part of the inner celebrity circle.

Feb 17, 2010

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: March Edition

This month’s issue of Cosmo may just take the award for most insightful published information yet. (Where's that sarcastic font when we need it most?) First we learn what kind of behavior is too freaky to fix on a man… such as someone who Tweets every time you switch positions in bed.

Jan 19, 2010

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: February Edition

Cosmo's February issue had a lot of usefulless information, as per usual. Get excited! This month we learn how guys truly feel about nail decals (we know you’ve all been dying to know the answer to this.) Turns out 55% think they’re too over-the-top, while 45% say they’re fun and flirty. But I’m pretty sure 100% don’t really know what nail decals are.

Dec 16, 2009

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: January Edition

Even though this month's Cosmo is all about the new year, it just included more of the same old: a feature on Girl-on-Top, a few pointers on how to get hot guys naked, and their annual Bedside Astrologer (!!). It also featured a two page lingerie spread with advice from the Victoria’s Secret Angels…then continued to reference VS like 6 more times throughout the issue.

Aug 28, 2009

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: September Edition

This month, Cosmo’s Guy Report includes some of the usual brilliant suggestions from staffers, as well as expert opinion (read: random dudes interns found on the street) on everything from tatted up ladies to the little signals he's allegedly sending us.

May 14, 2009

Cosmo Says The Darndest Things: June Edition

This month, Cosmo was especially recession conscious (there were, like, 6 whole articles!), featured a slightly disappointing interview with Leighton Meester (she’s just not as bitchy as Blair) and their first ever scratch-n-sniff! But, by far the most…interesting article I read was “The Sex Detective is in!”

Apr 17, 2009

Cosmo Says the Darndest Things: May Edition

This month, Cosmo released its annual “Sexy” issue. In it, they provide various, previously printed tips for seducing your man, or just feeling hot in general (apparently, paying my bills in the nude will make it “less painful.” Uh, I probably would have named something else as number 32 on the list of 50 Things to Do Naked, but that’s just me).