This issue was peppered with all kinds of not-so-scandalous guy and sex facts that shouldn't be shocking to anyone who is over the age of 15 -- guys think about sex all the time, they masturbate at work, they love boobs and sometimes they lie to get us into bed. Unbelievable, no?
It's extremely fitting that the first official Glamour issue of 2012 (and the last one to hit newsstands in 2011) features the Kardashian sisters. Could they have been any more overexposed this year? The answer is probably yes, but I must admit that the Kardashian ladies are my not-so-secret, not-so-guilty pleasure.
I really don't think Jennifer Lopez has aged at all in the last 15 years. It's absolutely phenomenal. I'm pretty sure she could still show up to an award show in a dress like this and absolutely make everyone else comparatively speaking look like hideous trolls. She must exfoliate with diamonds and the blood of dolphins.
This month, Glamour's resident gentleman has decided to enlighten us with four fashion choices that totally turn guys off.
As this is the September issue, the mag is about three times heavier than usual, which means there are three times as many ads to dig through to get to the actual content. That said, I did want nearly every piece of makeup and clothing featured, so I can't really hate too hard this time around. That made up for the questionable articles in the issue.
As you can tell by the headlines of this month's issue, Glamour is reveling in summer superficiality - tips on battling humidity hair, finding the best shorts for your body and a little bit of unnecessary warm-weather specific slut shaming are all present in this issue. Of course, the best part of the issue is the insight into how males feel when they're naked.
Wow. Kate Winslet looks absolutely stunning on this month's cover of Glamour. Her hair, her pose, her Top Model fierce expression (insert three Tyra snaps here...) I thought she she was the pinnacle of perfection when she was in Titanic, but she keep reaching new heights of gorgeousness.
Diane Kruger is a certified, regulation, top-tier hottie. I mean, she is ethereal enough to have been cast as Helen of Troy. She is currently boning and betrothed to wed Joshua Jackson (PACEY!) And she somehow managed to make stilted sexyface look alluring and hot on this month's cover of Glamour. And I'm absolutely gagging (in the best possible way) over her cover ensemble.
What's the deal, Glamour? Is it "your thing" to make all the beautiful women you snag for your covers look stilted, crazy, and/or completely confused? Kim Kardashian is no exception and, truth be told, it took me about 5 minutes of staring at this magazine to even realize it was her. Home girl looks like she just had all of her Louboutins confiscated. Not a good look.
January's Glamour cover claims that it's the happy issue. Coincidentally, this is one of the lightest mags I've ever picked up. I found this issue uninspired at worst, and bland at best.
For an issue that is supposed to be inspiring women, I was feeling pretty dejected reading through it. Glamour made me feel skanky, unhygienic, and sexually unadventurous. And then I came across an article that was so absurd that I had no choice but to feel a lot better about myself because at least I'm not clueless enough to take this advice seriously.
I am completely and unabashedly Team Kanye, so I should have rolled my eyes and sighed most despondently when I saw Taylor Swift on the cover of Glamour this month. But I'm mildly fascinated with Miss Taylor.
It's clear that Glamour hates Lea Michele as much as I do. (Yes, I said it. Lea Michele emits this aura of entitled smugness that I cannot help but to scrunch up my nose at. Also, Glee is awful. Grownup Kidz Bop interpretations of songs + stale caricature characters? I'll pass.) I can't deny the girl is gorgeous, though.