jersey shore recap

Mar 25, 2011

Jersey Shore: Another Summer Comes to a Close

After seeing previews showing Snooki doing cartwheels and JWoww and Roger having 'the talk', I can't even tell you how excited I was for last night's season finale of Jersey Shore. I planned my whole night around it. I skipped yoga to be home to watch it. Hell, I skipped $1 beer night! And what did I get in return?

Mar 18, 2011

Jersey Shore: Drunk Dials from Mom

The only way to sum up last night's episode (or the whole season, really) of Jersey Shore is by trying to figure out who was the biggest bitch of the night. It's gonna be a toughie, but let's try.

Feb 18, 2011

Jersey Shore: 1, 2, 3, 4, I Declare a PRANK War

Between Deena being constipated and weighing 40 lbs more than the first episode, someone losing their "dirty drawers" (my money's on Snooks....) and the boys sticking poo poo pads under Deena's pillow only to later find them under their own, this ep should have just been called "Sh*ts and Giggles...and Ronnie Tears."'

Jersey Shore: See Ya Never, Sammi!

I'm so glad we were treated to yet another episode of Maury... I mean, Jerry Springer... I mean, The Jersey Shore: Sam/Ron edition part 5023. We are finally treated to The Situation's first (and only) wise words: "Just break the f*ck up already" and we just couldn't agree more.

Jersey Snore: I Mean, Shore…

For last night's delightful mid-season, "let's just show 15 minutes of party footage and a few gratuitous shots of JWoww's body" episode, I decided to consult my most brilliant pop-culture dude friend to get some input from the male perspective on the whole matter. From Deenasaurus to Sam and Ron's dysfunction, we cover it all.

Jersey Shore: The Punch Heard 'Round The Boardwalk

Once Upon a Time, we are brought back to the greasy, dirty (city? town? state?) Kingdom of Long Island (why God, why?)... the land of disasters and stolen beds. Our heroines, Snookers and JWoww are raiding what Tom's left in the house. Stealing a BED? Chop his nuts off, Snook! The princesses collect Jenni's 17 fluffy puppies and bring them back to the Sleazeside Heights Palace.

Jan 21, 2011

Jersey Shore: A Very Special JWoww Episode

I personally look to JWoww for most social cues, particularly her taste in pasties and the fact that she's opted to develop a tranny voice with Newports. Those are things that I admire in a woman. Which is why I was thrilled when MTV decided to devote an entire episode this season to her.

Jan 14, 2011

Jersey Shore Recap: The Situation Needs to Situate Himself

It seems like a lot happened on last night's Jersey Shore. There was fighting, t-shirt time, Karma, family dinner, work, JWOWW's cleavage, a Sam/Ron fight and smushing. And to top it all off, there were emotional flashbacks to Miami. Holy hell, I need a vodka Red Bull just to keep up.

Jan 7, 2011

Jersey Shore: Blast from the Past… in a Glass?

Oh. My. Guido. After a hard two months away from these tri-state tanning terrors, they've finally, FINALLY returned. Unless you haven't noticed our entire crew of juiceheads, grenades and gorillas gracing the cover of every magazine and headlining every gossip blog.

Oct 22, 2010

Jersey Shore: She’s Phony, He’s Fake!

Other than, "OH YEAH, EVERGLADES, YEAH" it was really difficult for me to take anything away from last night's episode of Jersey Shore. Are we seriously dealing with a finale right now? I would've rather been watching South Park's ripoff of the Jersey cast....

Oct 1, 2010

Jersey Shore: Fistpumping, Frolicking and Fighting

We had many, many thoughts going into this episode. Many questions about how the Snooki/Angelina throwdown would go down. Questions on if Tee-Shirt time would make another appearance (it did). Questions if Pauly would, yet again, be a human alarm clock with a crazy Kool-Aid man "OH YEAHHHH!" voice (he was).

Sep 10, 2010

Jersey Shore: Feuds and Fossils

o we open on JWoww setting Sammi's face like a volleyball and Sammi throwing a spike right back at JWoww's kisser. Where to begin here? The entire episode was so cram-packed with drama, fighting and backstabbing that it's nearly impossible to recap every glorious moment of it.

Sep 3, 2010

Jersey Shore: The Sizzling Questions

Let me just open with a bold statement: Ron and Sammi need to get off my television, ASAP. Their negativity is clogging up the screen and prohibiting Snooki from getting her fist pump on. Seriously, get these two epic losers off of MTV before I JWoww their whiny behinds.