At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love. Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed. Unlucky. A hopeless disaster. I even had a few years where the old song "But Not For Me" was my theme song. I laughed about it with friends, joked about it with strangers and secretly would cry about it alone.
Whether it was guy friends that I had mad crushes on or boys I was kissing and actually wanted it to be more, I found it so much easier to hope that they liked me. I would sit around and wait for that romantic movie moment where they blurt out their feelings in a fumbling Micael Cera-esque fashion, making sure to include an adorable listing of “all the things they loved about me” that included the perfect mix of qualities that make me feel smart, funny and pretty.
Without asking for it, you have become trailblazers for a new world of dating. The biggest problem is that without any guidelines, you are inventing the rules for dating with technology and mostly learning the hard way….from your own mistakes. Well, CollegeCandy and I started talking and we are here to help.
Ah resolutions… Once the hangover is done by the 2nd and you are seriously bored at home, nothing seems more perfect than to sit down, contemplate your life and make some resolutions for 2011. With passion in heart and pen in hand we write down our best intentions for the New Year promising ourselves that “Things Will Be Different!" The problem is that most of the time by January 5th that new fitness program, study routine or other resolution has already been kicked to the curb.
I see college women coming to me all the time for answers, secrets, tips and tricks, ANYTHING to get love all figured out. They want me to get into their latest hottie's mind and tell them exactly what he is thinking to understand why he is or is not calling, texting, treating her right, or downright leaving her not only on the crazy train, but driving it loud and proud.
Since I started coaching college women, I feel like I am living in a world of stories about drunken hook-ups, walks of shame and disappointment. Understand, I am not judging AT ALL. Hooking-up is part of the college culture and can be a lot of fun.
At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love. Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed. Unlucky. A hopeless disaster.
The experts have shared a lot with you this week: the importance of smiling, the power of eye contact, the negative affects of texting in public, and the messages your body is sending. And now it's time to put it all together.
As much as I enjoy blabbing my mouth off from time to time, I've recently realized (with the help of Ms. Kira Sabin) that I need to pay attention to one of the most important aspects of dating there is: body language. It's so easy to close people off with your body. And the kicker? You don't even notice you're doing it!
Now, let's be honest for a second. In this day and age, everyone is hyper-connected so it's become totally normal and expected to be texting and calling and Facebooking no matter where we are and who we're with. But how are you supposed to apply the basics (smile + eye contact) when you're constantly looking at your stinkin' phone?!
Now that we've got our smiles down it's time to move on to a big next step: eye contact. Eye contact with a smile is the easiest way for someone to notice you and know that it is good to make the approach. Remember, if guys think they are going to be shut down, they just won't go there. It also exudes mucho confidence.
Ever have that friend that gets approached all the time? Sure, she may be pretty, smart or flirty but for some reason guys flock to her like white on rice. It may you leave you scratching your head and muttering under your breath “what is SO great about her?” You probably have friends that are funnier, smarter and prettier, yet she gets the guys.
What is "not your problem?" Who are you trying to fix? Who are you allowing to behave badly in your life? Who is taking up your precious time? Don't you think it is time to let go? Need help? That is why we are here.
We've all been there. The guy from Chem who you have been crushin’ on for a bit looks even better 5 drinks in. You are laughing, flirting and can not believe how much you have in common. What?! He likes Taio too? This is clearly destiny!
His name was Tyler. He was the roommate of one of my good college friends and from the moment I met him I was smitten. The witty banter was perfect and it took about 10 hours (and a few drinks) before we were hooking up. After that near perfect weekend we walked to my car, kissed like we invented it and he said he was crazy about me.