First, let's just acknowledge that this is real life. Snooki, whatcha got goin' on there? I can't tell if you're dancing with the plant for laughs, or if you're actually trippin' balls in public. Better yet, I can't tell why someone hasn't set this to a sick tecno beat yet!
The time has come to put away the self tanner and slow down the fist pumping. Tonight is the season finale of Jersey Shore. Waaaaah (Snooki voice). Season 3 of everyone's guilty pleasure has brought us a lot of drama, a lot of toilet issues (from Deena's constipation to JWoww's public urination to Ronnie's bowel movements on steroids), and a LOT of smushing.
For last night's delightful mid-season, "let's just show 15 minutes of party footage and a few gratuitous shots of JWoww's body" episode, I decided to consult my most brilliant pop-culture dude friend to get some input from the male perspective on the whole matter. From Deenasaurus to Sam and Ron's dysfunction, we cover it all.
I personally look to JWoww for most social cues, particularly her taste in pasties and the fact that she's opted to develop a tranny voice with Newports. Those are things that I admire in a woman. Which is why I was thrilled when MTV decided to devote an entire episode this season to her.
It seems like a lot happened on last night's Jersey Shore. There was fighting, t-shirt time, Karma, family dinner, work, JWOWW's cleavage, a Sam/Ron fight and smushing. And to top it all off, there were emotional flashbacks to Miami. Holy hell, I need a vodka Red Bull just to keep up.
That's right CollegeCandyites, the time has come once again for our favorite bunch of swearing, drinking, and skanky kids to premiere their show on MTV tonight. No, I'm not talking about "Teen Mom," I'm of course referring to the Seaside Heights gang that we watched tear up South Beach just a couple months ago.
You might not have noticed this, but here at CollegeCandy, we’re kind of TV addicts. Comedies. Dramas. Dramedies. It doesn’t really matter. As long as it’s on, we’ll watch it. And if we're not there to see it, we'll DVR it and watch it later.
Since last week's letdown of an episode, it's time to come to terms with the fact that Jersey Shore is no more. At least until January. You might be asking yourself, "But, but, but how am I ever going to get my Jersey fix without my eight seven lovable guidos/guidettes entertaining me on Thursday nights?"
Last night's episode of the Jersey Shore finally put the last nail in the Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino coffin. Oh well, at least he has mad cooking skills to compete in Top Chef. I personally was heartbroken watching him go from house Papa Bear to ultimate entitled creepshow.
Was I watching an episode of Jersey Shore or "Antiques Roadshow" last night? It was hard to tell due to the fact that the show was so dull I almost felt like checking to see what was on PBS. No offense to you PBS, but you're not exactly bringing in the fist pumps every week.
We had many, many thoughts going into this episode. Many questions about how the Snooki/Angelina throwdown would go down. Questions on if Tee-Shirt time would make another appearance (it did). Questions if Pauly would, yet again, be a human alarm clock with a crazy Kool-Aid man "OH YEAHHHH!" voice (he was).
Guess who decided to up and pull a diva move? No, Mariah Carey isn’t castrating an intern for bringing her flat water instead of sparking (though, probably she is). It’s those darn Jersey Shore kids! Rumor has it that before the second season has even premiered, they’re fighting for salary raises, refusing to do a third season unless their demands are met.
• Whoa. The Jersey Shore kids might be getting a mega raise. • Another Lohan lawyer jumps ship. • 5 things men REALLY think about sex. • Adam Brody has a message for Kristen Stewart. • Rejoice! Low-heeled boots are in! • Well that's.....weird.