Ok, wow - the September issue of Glamour is so thick and heavy I want to beat Spencer Pratt over the head with it whenever he tries to find enlightenment and become a better person by wearing tie-dye and rubbing his face with crystals. It's stock full of over 400 (!!) pages and it's the biggest issue in 20 years.
From triple-Ds to divorcees - my, how the mighty have fallen. In what can only be the lamest publicity stunt in their short marriage (if it were even real in the first place), Spencer and Heidi have decided to call it quits.
I may hate Kristin and her perfect wardrobe, but I really felt for her in that moment when she realized that she'd lost and Brody had won. When she knew that while he was at home canoodling with Mckaela (ugh, it's even worse when the girl spells her name like that), Kristin was going home alone.
• Miley's getting a little too saucy for some peeps. • Behind the Speidi split. • Wait, Al Gore and Tipper split too? • A few books you need to read right now. • Does L'Oreal's last boosting serum really work? • 4 summer beauty trends the boys love.
OK. One question: where were Spencer and Heidi on last night's episode of The Hills? I kept waiting for them to show up at the bar, sit down with Stephanie and Lo on their double date, and pop out of the couch cushions with some healing crystals when Kristin and Brody duked it out. But they were nowhere to be found.
Hey, guess what? Another male celebrity can't keep it in his pants! Bet you didn't see that one coming. We've had, what, a week without a cheating scandal in the past 2 months? While I know celebrity romances rarely last, my naivety sometimes gets the best of me when it comes to cheating.
Um. Wow. I've been sitting here for ten minutes and I have no idea what the eff just happened on The Hills. And I watched it twice. All I know is I am enraged, so I'm gonna do like Heidi says (which is actually the only thing robot Heidi says) and take a breath.
• Get a sneak peak at Gossip Girl's upcoming dramz! • The 6 most annoying celebrity chefs. • Good news, Lady Gaga fans! • Heidi and Spencer finally do something right. • 10 things you didn't know about orgasms. • The downsides of living frugally.
If you're not a huge gossiper/have a subscription to every tabloid/read the gossip blogs religiously/understand the issue that is Suri Cruise's choice in footwear, it's hard to understand what all your crazy, celebrity-obsessed friends are talking about. I mean, it's hard enough to tell the Jonas Brothers apart - how does anyone keep up with Britney Spears' relationship status (are they on? off? on? is she shaving her head again?!)?
I am sure a little part of all of us wanted to be famous at one point in our lives. A little piece of my heart wants to sing on American Idol, design a dress for an Olympian figure skater (kudos, Vera Wang), or get insulted by Kanye West on live television. Whichever way you put it, being famous does not seem that bad...but the getting there is tough.
MTV's latest reality show, The Buried Life, chronicles the journey of four boys from Canada, (Ben, Duncan (<3), Jonnie and Dave) who realized that they didn’t want to die with unfulfilled lives, so they wrote out a list of things they wanted to do before they died, bought a bus (Penelope) and set out to accomplish their own “bucket lists.”
Is it just me, or does it seem like almost every celebrity out there had some giant scandal in 2009? I feel like I spent at least 3/4 of the year crouched in front of the TV or refreshing my news on the internet just to keep up. From Michael Jackson's shocking death, to cheating husbands, to a family sending a silver balloon in the air and forcing their family to lie just to get on TV, the scandals have gone from serious and sad to very WTF worthy.
Now that all my Christmas shopping is done, I've realized that there are a few people I forgot about this year. They may not be my closest family or friends, but they have made 2009 a memorable year for me. And for that, they deserve the world.