Anyone else see that one coming? I know I didn’t. I spent the entire episode scribbling notes about the forced endings for all of the characters, Brody’s horrible attempt at tears at Kristin’s goodbye party, and questioning the whole “Kristin is moving to Europe” plotline when we all know she’s still trolling L.A. in a bikini and heels.
It's the end of an era. After 6 seasons of fake drama, long and uncomfortable staring, and fights over cocktails that no one seems to pay for, The Hills is coming to an end tonight. There are many rumors surrounding tonight's one-hour episode, like whether Speidi will make an appearance, if LC will show up and if Audrina and JB will get back together.
With the series finale of The Hills coming up next week (moment of silence....) it seems the producers tried to pack as much as they could into last night's episode. For the first time in history we only got one long stare (between Stephanie and her motorcycle man)! But that might have something to do with the fact that Audrina was M.I.A.
Have you ever tried eating animal crackers while watching The Hills? I have…out of a Costco basin…. and those little guys are so crunchy I couldn’t hear a thing. I can’t tell you how many times I had to rewind the show so I didn’t miss anything important. Which, as it turns out, was a total waste of time once I actually listened to what was going on:
One of my biggest issues with The Hills is that all these kids have a ton of money and do nothing all day. Wait, that's not where I meant to go with this. I mean, yes, that is a big issue, but not my point. My other biggest issue with The Hills is that the producers make ridiculous things happen and never really fully develop them.
On Sunday night while the rest of the world (or at least those of us with a baby crush on Aziz Ansari) was sitting at home watching the MTV Movie Awards, I was there. On the red carpet. Trying to get Jason Segel to take advantage of me interview all the cool celebs as they made their way into the big show. And besides the extremely hot temperature of L.A. on a June afternoon, it was pretty effing rad.
OK. One question: where were Spencer and Heidi on last night's episode of The Hills? I kept waiting for them to show up at the bar, sit down with Stephanie and Lo on their double date, and pop out of the couch cushions with some healing crystals when Kristin and Brody duked it out. But they were nowhere to be found.
Nothing can turn a confident girl into a insecure mess faster than bathing suit season. Suddenly every mirror you look into turns into a fun house mirror of horrors. When did your stomach get so flabby and when did your skin turn translucent?
After a four-mile walk and a giant falafel sandwich (thus negating said four-mile walk), I grabbed my laptop and settled in on my couch for another riveting episode of The Hills. Like every time the show is on, I took notes on the ridiculous things that were happening so I could write this very recap.
It all started in the whimsical land of Laguna Beach, where dreams and drama were born (if dreams included watching Steven juggle between Lauren and Kristen, and drama included which beach party to attend). Then the Laguna locals have moved to bigger boobs and better things, in Hollywood. And now 'The Hills' begins it's 7th and final run on Tuesday. Hold your caps folks, it's going to be a wild ride!
I know that no one is forcing me to watch this sh*tshow, but no matter how annoying it has become, I've been watching these kids since the beginning and I refuse to quit now. Mama didn't raise no quitter! But that doesn't mean I don't hate all 22 minutes of it. Two of which (yes, I was timing it) were taken up by long and angry stares last night.
Everyone in my life knows I love Lauren Conrad. I started using the word “homeboy” because she made it so endearing, attempted her adorable side-braid (and pouted all day when I realized it looked horrible on me) and totally got into the leggings and men’s t-shirt trend because she rocked it so chic-ly through he streets of LA on The Hills.
It's time! After months of waiting (and trying to avoid anything and everything Speidi-related), The Hills back. Yeah, it's without Lauren, but she was getting boring anyway. It's one thing to love her as a person (which I do), but it's quite another to love watching her on a show (which I slept through).