I’m not crafty. I will never be crafty. Try as I might, when it comes to creating something, my specialty lies in pouring drinks. Despite my ineptitude at crafting, I was in a sorority (I’m not sure how they let me in, either). Because of this, I sometimes think I’m capable of Michael’s (never Hobby Lobby, because feminism) excursions that don’t end in disaster. I am wrong.
Whether you live in a dorm or an off campus apartment (or your first apartment as a real grown up!), once you move off-campus you quickly discover that outfitting a home is hard. I mean, it’s easy when you’re day dreaming on Pinterest about all of the gorgeous furniture you’ll be able to afford one day, but it’s more difficult when dealing with actual prices.
That’s why I decided (against my better judgement, I was most likely drunk at the time), to embark on a Pinterest project on my own. When planning a Pinterest project, you need to take into account numerous potential problems. 1) You’ll probably be too hungover to focus on the crafting at hand. 2) It’s more expensive than you think.
Step 1:
It’s best if you find the project on the side of the road, where most sketchy things live. I chose my project when my roommate pointed out an abandoned bedside table on the side of the streets. The heavier the better. Full disclosure: I was drunk at this point in time (sorry), so I assumed lugging a heavy, wooden object up four flights of stairs with my roommates would be easy. Luckily, someone in our building is a professional mover, and he took pity on us and popped it to our fourth floor walkup faster than we could get up there without it.
Step 2:
Head to the nearest hardware store — how did people even exist before Google Maps? Purchase everything in sight, even items you never knew you needed (and probably don’t). You will spend all the dollars. It will still not be enough.
Step 3:
Haul your hungover carcass up to your roof, or another wide open space, so as not to make a mess in your teeny tiny shared space. Try not to let the sun ruin your day. Find a friend who’s an artist to ensure that you don’t make a hot mess.
Step 4:
Return to the store. Invest more money in a piece of furniture that would look best in a garbage can.
Step 5:
Decide for the next week that it’s either too dark, cold, or rainy to continue the project. Really, you’re just sleepy. Abandon it and hope it’s not stolen.
Step 6:
Haul it down the stairs, getting paint almost everywhere.
Step 7:
Pretend it looks like Pinterest perfection. Whatever, I can always add a filter.
Step 8:
Start Pinterest stalking for your next impossible project.
