There are some things that just aren’t socially acceptable when it comes to dating. Bringing your parents on a first date, for example, or “accidentally” forgetting your wallet, or (my personal favorite) talking only about yourself for the entire night. It’s not that you can’t do these things – you just shouldn’t.
Just like you really shouldn’t be asking out teenagers if you’re pushing 40 years old. It seems like common sense, but 37 year-old Lucas Werner had to find out the hard way. He tried asking out a 16 year-old Starbucks barista, which worked out about well as you can imagine. And it’s pretty clear from what he posted on Facebook afterwards that he didn’t really learn his lesson.
Apparently, Werner had gone to Starbucks and chatted with the barista while ordering his drink. He then decided to leave her a note asking her out to dinner; when he went back the next day, a police officer met him and told him he was banned from the Starbucks, as the note he left was considered creepy.
Now, Werner probably had no intention of coming across as creepy. It might have even been some sort of miscommunication where he thought the girl was older. But Werner then takes to Facebook to post a self-victimizing status about age discrimination, proving he might actually be weird after all.
“For those who would like to call them to complain about age difference discrimination on my behalf. In brief, a barista said I was funny and that she liked me, so I politely thanked her, sat down to drink my hot chocolate, wrote her a nice note, so as not to interrupt her work schedule asking her out to dinner if she was interested and walked out, happily thanking the friendly staff and wishing them a Merry Christmas.
When I returned yesterday, a Spokane Police Officer said the note was creepy, which it wasn’t, and asked me to not return because I was being banned. We already know this is because the barista was young and legal aged and I’m 37.
I did not ask her to have sex with me. I asked if she would like to have dinner sometime. Perfectly normal adult behavior. I figure, if she was 16 and flirtatious it would still be legal to ask her to dinner. You can’t even work at Starbucks unless you’re 16, which is the legal age to date people. This is a clear case of age discrimination. Feel free to call them to complain on my behalf.”
Uhh, okay dude. Let’s break some things down, shall we?
One, she was working at the time. Chances are the barista was just trying to be polite or nice to him and not actually flirt with him. Which is really why you shouldn’t ask people out when they are working, no matter how well it works in the movies.
Two, just because it is technically within Werner’s legal rights to ask her out does not mean he should have done so. It’s not “age discrimination” which does exist but not in this case. But it is totally inappropriate for Werner to insist that the 16 year-old barista shouldn’t have had the reaction she did when getting asked out by a 40 year-old man.
Of course, things got even weirder with Werner once people started commenting on the Facebook post:
It’s interesting that he insists he only wanted a date, but then posts about the age of consent for sex immediately afterwards. Many have pointed out that Werner’s obsession with the idea of consent and age in Washington state does not make wanting to have sex with someone 21 years younger than him any less creepy.
And then the trolls came out:
Werner’s response? An article that states that the semen of men over 35 is better than younger men’s…which adds a whole new level of WTF to this whole thing.
Yikes. That spiraled downhill pretty quickly on Werner’s end. The Facebook post is still public, leaving us to wonder whether the man will ever understand social boundaries. As far as we can tell, he’s still bewildered about why the 16 year-old might find his advances unwanted or why she may not want him near her.
The moral of the story? Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Also, don’t ask out 16 year-olds if you’re over 20 years older than them. Just don’t.