No relationship comes easy, whether you’ve just started dating or have been married for years, relationships are no walk in the park. Of course, they should be filled with more love and happiness than hate and fights, but there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
When times get tough, some people know how to work it out, even if it leads to a breakup. However for others when the relationship isn’t working out, they decide to cheat. Many people look at the word “cheating” as some sort of sexual experience with someone other than their partner, but that’s not the only version.
From keeping secrets to not making your partner a priority in your life and more are all different ways you might be “cheating” without actually cheating on your loved one. Check out these five different ways of being unfaithful and see if you might be guilty of them.
An Emotional Affair
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You’ve heard of people having affairs in their relationship too many times in your life, and you’ve probably only thought of one type, sexual. Where sexual affairs do happen, emotional affairs are just as ordinary and can be even harder to bounce back from.
An emotional affair is defined as “A dynamic and vivacious conversation is taking place on a regular basis with someone else,” according to Psychology Today. “Whole areas of growth, insight, and soulful exploration have come to be located outside the relationship.”
When you’re involved in an emotional affair, it can be hard for your partner to regain that connection you chose to create with someone else.
Keeping Secrets From Your Partner
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Sometimes you keep secrets from your partner like a surprise dinner or what you’re getting them for their birthday, reasonable right? Where some secrets are playful and for their happiness, they are perfectly fine, but when you start to lie and know you’re doing something wrong, that’s when the relationship begins to hurt.
Relationship expert Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D., and author of The Assertiveness Guide For Women talks about different ways you can properly communicate with your partner. Bottom line is, if you feel like you’re going behind your partners back, odds are you’re doing something wrong.
Using Your Partner’s Insecurities Against Them
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When you’re in a relationship with someone you typically know some of their deepest darkest secrets, they might be things about their past or even things that they’re insecure about, but no one else knows. You tend to tell your loved ones these secrets because you trust them and you know they’d never think about you different.
Once you start to use your partner’s vulnerability or insecurities against them, you begin to have a manipulative relationship. According to World of Psychology, “Consideration is shown with love while manipulation is shown with guilt.”
If you find you’re self-controlling your partner’s every move or making them feel guilty for just being them, take a step back and look at exactly what you’re trying to accomplish. Odds are you’re doing more harm than good.
Complaining About Your Partner/Relationship To Someone You’re Attracted To
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Everyone needs that person they can confide their relationship to, whether it’s your parent or your best friend, sometimes you need to just vent about what’s going on. However, if you find yourself wanting to vent about your relationship to someone you are attracted to, you’re headed in the wrong direction.
Step back and honestly ask yourself, why am I confiding in this specific person? Is it because you want their honest feedback or could it be because you’re secretly hoping they hold you and make you feel wanted? If you have been down this road, really think about what’s best for you, your partner and your relationship.
Making Your Priorities More Important Than Your Partner’s
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When you’re in a relationship, you don’t want to lose who you are as an individual, but because you two are together, you should want to be apart of what makes them happy. Doing what makes your partner happy or “Compassionate love,” according to the Wall Street Journal, can actually make you happier in your relationship.
It’s totally normal for you two to not have everything in common, maybe one likes sports and the other loves fashion, this gives your relationship a healthy balance of similar interests and individuality. However, if you start to discredit their happiness and their hobbies because you like yours better what does that start to say about you?
