magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-up comment chevron-up chat_bubble_outline2 share thumbs-up thumbs-down chevron-down

Can a Relationship Get a Second Chance?


getting back together

When it’s done, it’s done. You’re broken up. It’s over. Time to move on and move on forever. You had your shot, you took it, and it didn’t work out for one reason or many. Blame timing. Blame the fact that he/she had the emotional awareness of Honey Boo Boo. Blame whatever you want. Time passes. But people can change, though. Maybe you reconnect. At a party? On your birthday? In the supermarket? Through Facebook? Somehow the lines of communication get opened back up and you start wondering: “Maybe there’s still something there.” So what if there is? Is it smart to try again or are you just opening yourself up to getting burned and heartbroken again?

Is it smart? Eh, who knows. Is it risky? Sure. Can it work? Possibly. Sound wishy-washy? That’s because the situation isn’t black and white. You’ve entered “a dimension as vast as time and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and dark, between science and fiction, between driving your heart through a wall and lifelong happiness. It is an area which we call The Grey Zone!”

People do change. We grow. We evolve. Stuff happens that knocks out some of the dumbness that might have tripped us up or blocked us off before. You’re never the exact same person you were yesterday. And neither is the other person. So if you feel like there’s a possibility that the spark’s still surviving, then maybe it could work the second time around. Make a meet. Keep the expectations low. Keep the goal simple: to test the waters.

There’s no way you’ll find out unless you try. But before you try and try again, keep in mind what drove you apart in the first place. You didn’t just magically break up for no good reason. There were probably pretty damn good reasons. Keep in mind what the behavior was and look for any signs that to see if he/she has actually changed or is putting up a good front.

Remember the risk: heartbreak hurts exponentially. In other words, if you do decide to give it a second chance then the pain could be worse if it doesn’t work out. You can survive it. You’re just going to be hitting a different kind of bottom, possibly a deeper one. First rule: always protect yourself.

Most everyone deserves a second chance. A lot of relationships are worth one, too. Life’s short. Why hold onto a grudge or hold yourself back from a bit of happiness? Just be real with yourself as far as why things ended the first time and what you’re risking. Don’t take the chance blindly, be aware, a little more cautious than before, and take things a little slow. You’ll know sooner than before whether or not the juice is worth the squeeze.

Hopelessly romantic,

The Dude

[Lead image via Masson/Shutterstock]

I'm a dude. I know dudes. And I'll share what I know with you. Just ask!