I Thought I Met A Good Guy But… [Ask A Dude]

Hi there,
So I met a guy a few nights ago and we really hit it off, he couldn’t stop telling me how beautiful he thought I was. He was a real gentleman and told me adamantly that he wanted to get to know me rather than take me home that night, so he’d text me in the morning. It’s been three days now and I’ve heard nothing yet. And because we got on so well and he insisted he would contact me, I broke the texting rule the night after and sent him a cheeky message first asking where my text was and saying that the anticipation was killing me (complete with 😛 of course).
Did I scare him off? Should I wait a few more days and hope that he contacts me or write it off as a beer goggle moment? Its just that I really liked him and he took my number and my Facebook and gave me his number to make sure I could contact him, so I figured he wanted to see me again. What do you suggest?
Dear Kay,
I’m sorry girl. It seemed like you met another dude totally into you but he’s gone radio silent. Happens to the best of us. You broke the rule and put yourself out there. Which was fine to do. You shouldn’t feel weird about sending one flirty text within 24 hours. The frustrating fact you might be facing is: He wasn’t as nice as he seemed to be.
There’s a lot of worrying about when you should get in touch with someone after exchanging numbers. Before texting, industry standard was two days. Which meant three days was kinda money. Now in the era of instant gratification where you can text, tweet, Facebook, e-mail, Skyping, Snapchatting, Instagram, Tumbling, touting, plus using the outdated calling function on your smartphone, where it takes about 10 seconds to reach out, it feels like the wait should be shortened. Why can’t we do a next day text? It can short and sweet and you can shape it to however you want it to be. It’s kind of the perfect system of second contact once you’ve had that amazing first meet-cute.
There’s still no surefire way to predict if he’ll respond. It’s always going to be a bit of a crapshoot where in you could feel like you’ve lost some dignity. Not to mention getting seriously pissed and confused about why a guy who seemed awesome turned out to be an ass. No matter how much these new ways to communicate can help create a safer buffer zone for dating, they can’t guarantee everything’s going to come up roses for you. In this case, I’m afraid you’re cool dude has turned out to be a dud.
I don’t think it’s your fault. And if he got scared off because of one text then he’s f*ck him. It wouldn’t have been worth it. Sometimes people make great first impressions and that’s about all they’re great for. I suggest you just leave him be. If he does get in touch then the ball’s in your court. Until then, forget about him. If he pops back up then it’ll be a nice surprise. If not, don’t worry, you haven’t actually lost anything. You were brave to put yourself out there. Don’t lose that boldness. It’s one of the things that makes you a badass. More times than not rejection is what we get for trying but if we never try, we’re just rejecting ourselves. Keep putting yourself out there and you’ll find a dude that’s worth your time, and your texts.
You’re so money,
The Dude
[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

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