A few weeks ago, we wrote a story about a service called “Rent a Gent”. The premise of the service is simple; you can hire a man by the hour to do pretty much anything you want. Whether you’re looking for a handyman or a date to your cousin’s wedding, for the fee of $300-$800/hour, one of these guys will help you out. It’s all very reminiscent of The Wedding Date (great movie shout out), except we can’t guarantee Dermot Mulroney will show up on your doorstep and consequently fall in love with you. But so it goes.
After the post was published, someone in our office let a secret slip — they had a friend who worked for a similar company. This one, based in the UK, is called “Butlers in the Buff”. Obviously we wanted to know more, and pressed for a name and contact method to talk to this young, pantsless waiter. Turns out, his name is Ben Freeman (ladies, he’s on Facebook!) and he’s one of the coolest guys we’ve ever had the pleasure of talking to. Ben was 100% open about his job at Butlers in the Buff and even humored us by answering some of our most burning questions. Read on to get a behind-the-scenes, firsthand account of what it’s like to be a topless…and bottomless…male waiter.
Hey Ben! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?
I am 19 years old and study Business Management at Kings College London. I have lived in the same house my entire life, which is in Cheshire- 12 miles from Manchester. Most of my jobs are in Manchester, although I work all over the country as Butlers in the Buff pays my travel expenses and allocates me new jobs everywhere. I went to Manchester Grammar School, where I did A levels in maths, economics and history. I achieved A*, A, A. I have included this as there seems to be an assumption from most that most butlers are rather unacademic!
What or who got you into Butlers in the Buff? When you first began, were you ever nervous when attending certain events?
I first got into butlering when a neighbour asked me to be a topless waiter at her 30th birthday party. She paid me £40 per hour, and it was great fun. After this I looked into topless waitering online and found Butlers in the Buff, which seemed to be the most well-established and professional company.
I first started the job when I was 17 years old, which I believe is the youngest anyone has butlered. I was surprised that there was no law stating that I must be 18, to be honest! I was slightly nervous for my first event as I didn’t really know what to expect. The company does place you with another butler for your first shift so they can teach you. I was mostly nervous that he would be in better shape than me; I am very competitive. Butlering was a very natural job for me to move into as I had always kept in good shape (I used to be obsessive about going to the gym), and it was nice to be acknowledged for being in shape, as well as earning money from it.
Has this job affected your relationships (friendships, family, romantic) in any way?
My parents know I do the job and they encouraged me to apply. Most of my friends waiter for £6/hour, and so they were happy I had found something that paid so much more. Plus butlers only work 2 hour shifts, get compensated travel expenses and the schedule is entirely flexible. I haven’t actually worked in the last few months, as I have moved to London for university and I wanted to settle in first. I have not had a girlfriend for many years and have enjoyed being single so I cant say that butlering has affected any relationships. It actually makes me much more confident, as there are very few things more embarrassing than some of the things I have had to do at work, and so it has helped my single life if anything. My friends made jokes about me butlering at first, although they all could understand why I did it and a few actually applied to become butlers.
Have you ever found yourself in any uncomfortable positions, or are rules and barriers made clear from the beginning of your parties?
Butlers in the Buff has a very extensive and clear rule book, however the clients don’t. Essentially, I turn up to the postcode I am given and I dont have any idea what to expect, although I know before the shift what the party is celebrating- 90% of the time it’s a hen party. I have also done corporate events, charity events and birthdays. I’ve been in many awkward and unusual situations whilst working. I have had my apron taken off on numerous occasions (we wear nothing underneath), and if I were a woman with men behaving in such a way, then it would most definitely have been serious sexual assault.
One story that I remember vividly is when I was working at a hen party in Liverpool. There were 12 girls and it was in an apartment. One quite large girl had drank a bit too much and decided that she liked me. She began to act very forwardly, and – not taking the hint (or the warnings to calm down and stop acting inappropriately) – she cornered me behind a bar. At this point it is worth mentioning that butlers wear flip flops to work. Noticing this, the woman smashed a bottle at the end of the bar in attempt to prevent me from being able to get away.
She then started trying to rip off my apron and put her finger in an inappropriate place. Luckily, her friends decided she had gone too far and pulled her away. It was a very unusual situation, and one I hope not to find myself in again. However, I would not say that I was scared at any point. To be entirely honest, I found the whole thing very funny. I was slightly nervous at one point as she was a very large woman and surprisingly strong, but realistically I knew that as soon as I needed to get away, I could have restrained her and walked over the obstacle of broken glass. The woman did apologise before I left as she began to sober up.
Will you continue at Butlers in the Buff? If so, for how long and why?
I will continue to work for Butlers in the Buff until I become too busy to free up any time. I have been very busy recently and so have not butlered in about 6 months, but I intend to start again over the next few weeks. It is this flexibility that makes it such an easy job to keep. It is not so much about the money anymore, and I have heard many butlers say the same. Butlering keeps me in shape (as I would never want to work unless I was), and it is character building as I am put in some very awkward situations.
I can’t think of many ways that someone could build their confidence faster than butlering. It is also quite an ego boost as a butler is usually the only male at the hen parties and naturally as the women drink more they start to act very flirtatiously. I think this is why the job is so addictive and something people tend not to stop once they start. I have worked with butlers who are in their thirties and have very respectable jobs- clearly they don’t do it for the money, they do it for the fun.
5 Burning Questions We Asked a Real Life "Butler in the Buff"
