The word “bitch” has become a definite staple in our modern vocabulary, taking on a range of meanings from negative to positive, depending on the speaker. There’s more than one way to be a bitch, as this list proves (apparently a 3rd grader wrote this??). I’m probably a combo of #84, “dirty sock wearing bitches,” and #76, “geeken bitches.”
This list is equal parts sad, crazy, hilarious, and perfect that it inspired us to make this quiz, “What kind of bird bitch are you?” It’s not nearly as epic, but it will help you pinpoint your inner B.
1. What would you do if you found out your spouse was cheating?
A) This happens to me a lot. Usually, I just cry and eat ice cream.
B) To the left, to the left. I always keep a back-up.
C) I’d handle it like an adult–express my hurt feelings and wish them the best.
D) I’d get my revenge. Maybe not today, but I’m willing to wait.
2. What is your anthem when you’re single?
A) “One Less Lonely Girl” by Justin Beiber–his words give me hope
B) “I’m a Flirt” by R. Kelly–I’m never single for long
C) “Single Ladies” by Beyonce–is there any other option?
D) “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO–I’m always up for some no-strings attached fun
3. Who is your favorite rapper?
A) Weezy? I haven’t really listened to rap since middle school
B) Kanye or Kendrick, I love listening to those at the top of their game
C) Drake, he always knows my mood
D) I like someone a little more unconventional like Lil’ B. Or better Lil’ Boosie, so glad he’s free!
4. What do you do to prepare for a test?
A) Cram the night before!
B) Partner up with the smart kid
C) I got it under control by studying a little bit at a time two weeks before the test
D) I wing it
5. Which Spice Girl is your favorite?
A) Sporty Spice
B) Scary Spice
C) Baby Spice
D) Ginger Spice
6. Which Beyonce song is your favorite?
A) “If I Were a Boy”
B) “Bow Down”
C) “Run the World (Girls)”
D) “Drunk in Love”
7. What do you look for in a potential mate?
A) Idk, I need to figure out whose interested in me
B) Someone who has their ish together
C) Someone with a great personality
D) Great sex
8. What’s your favorite TV show?
A) If I do watch TV, it’s old reruns. I don’t keep up with anything.
B) Game of Thrones
C) How I Met Your Mother
D) Any of the Housewives shows
Mostly A’s: Basic Bitch
Hate to break it to you but bitch you’re basic! Being basic means that you mean well, but you can be pretty boring and/or generally give off a “blah” vibe. Pull it together, there’s someone amazing underneath!
Mostly B’s: HBIC (Head-Bitch-in-Charge)
You’re so fly you have your own acronym! You pretty much know where you’re going, what you want, and how to get there. You don’t take any BS from anyone, and don’t have a hard time telling it like it is. Sometimes people can’t take your intense personality but either way you’re a force to be reckoned with.
Mostly C’s: “This Bitch/That Bitch”
So you’re not really a bitch because you’re a nice, good person. You’re pretty perfect, which can intimidate others so often you’ll be called, “this bitch” when someone else finds your put togetherness nauseating. As in “this bitch would ace this test” or “that bitch would volunteer at the animal shelter.” Take it as a compliment and keep it moving.
Mostly D: Crazy Bitch
You know the song and you know it perfectly describes you. You’re always up to try something new, be spontaneous, and have fun. You’re on team having fun but that doesn’t mean you’re soft. You’ve had a fight (or a dozen) in the past.
