“Is My Tinder Romance Over?” [Ask A Dude]


So I met this guy on Tinder (I know) and we had an amazing time. He told me multiple times that he thinks I’m really cool and how we are doing all his favorite things tonight.

Long story short, we had sex, watched Netflix (on our first date!!! what?) and he cuddled me all night and cuddled me even more in the morning.

I texted him that day that I had a perfect night (mistake #1) but didn’t hear back from him. After a day, he texted me back that he found my panties in his room, but I figured he would only text me that if he wanted to see me again, right?!

But when I suggested let’s hang out (mistake #2), he didn’t text back for days and he finally texted back “tonight?” so I said I couldn’t and all he said was “oh alrighty”, haven’t heard back since and it’s been days.

Do guys cuddle girls they are not interested in? What about watching Netflix on our first date?! Was he just really comfortable or was he bored? Can I assume he wanted to see me again since he told me he found my “stuff” in his room? Did I screw up by not playing hard to get? Is it over?



Dear Befuddled,

A Tinder romance has gone awry. You’ve got a bevy of bountiful questions regarding why a boy you met through the app and hooked up with now has seemingly vanished back into the iCloud. Common sense would say that what’s done is done and he was probably going to be like this regardless of whether or not you snuggled or cuddled or screwed and snoozed. You’ve got a lot of worries to address and as directly you asked, I’m going to answer. So here we go, it’s the Bullet Points Round!

*Yes, guys will cuddle with a girl they aren’t interested in. It’d be awkward not to. You can want to get out of dodge but sometimes the getting out requires cuddling to make a painless exit.

*Watching Netflix on a first date’s fine. Dinner and a movie’s as old a format for two people to spend an evening as it gets. “House of Cards” is effing riveting! And who cares whether he was bored or comfortable. Perhaps he was comfortably bored? I doubt he had a lot of long-term thought about the evening. Bottom line: he spent the night. He couldn’t have been begging for the back door that much.

*You can assume anything because of anything. Certainly, given the “stuff” that you left at his place that he was mentioning, he gave you a reason to think he was interested in seeing you again. Explicitly, seeing you nekkid.

*No, you didn’t screw up by not playing hard to get. You met on TINDER. You both made it pretty clear what you wanted from each other at the outset. And that’s not a judgment, you felt some chemistry and had some fun experimenting. If you hadn’t had sex, he probably would have treated you the same way.

*I can’t answer whether or not it’s over. I believe in the adage, “never say never.” I’m going to ask you a question: so what if it is? What do you lose? Who cares if he’s an a-hole? Look at how he’s treating you, why would you want to put with this any more than you already are? Believe that you’re worth better than this dreck.

Whew! Okay, time to hydrate. Best of luck with you Tinder buddy. Remember, new people are signing up all the time. Keep your options open and don’t overthink one prick.

The Most Electrifying Man on College Candy!

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

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