Your freshman year at college is a major transitional moment in your life. It’s a whole new world populated with new kinds of people and you’re going to be overwhelmed with new ideas as well as new experiences. There’re so many possibilities for you to explore. That’s what college ends up being: A time to discover. Which begs a question, is it a good idea to tie yourself down with someone at the beginning of it?
Guys don’t magically change during the summer between being a senior in high school and a freshman in college. But you don’t have to date a freshman guy. You’ve got older men now at your disposal, ones who’ve adjusted to dorm life, studying insanity during finals, and the office hour culture. Not to mention you’re new to the partying and freedom of getting to pick and choose from the city near your school (unless your campus IS the entire community). Do you want to take away options by choosing one of the first ones presented to you?
Getting involved with a guy right off the bat is going to benefit you in a couple of ways. It cuts down on the loneliness as you adjust. It’ll help you create a circle of close friends. You’ll get to fool around on a regular basis. There’ll be someone you can count on. It’s got some appeal to it. And plus, you know, hopefully there’ll be feelings. Lots of wonderful feelings. But you should take a step back and look not just at what you could gain, but what you could lose.
With the exception of a very few, most people tend to regret jumping into something serious too soon. You’ve got a huge new world to explore and all of a sudden you’ve crossed an X over part of the globe. You’re going to get tied into a specific group of friends at a time when you could be exploring multiple cliques to see who you feel most comfortable with. You’ll be turning down getting to know a bunch of other people you’re attracted to, refusing to explore what dating is like in college. Which will make it harder to date later. You’ll feel more alone and a bit behind the other freshmen in class if you break up. You won’t have the support system on campus in place because the person you’ve been depending on to help you get through the day is now the one person you can’t turn to. That’s the biggest risk you’re taking: you’ll end up more behind than ahead.
Better to take your time and get acclimated first. I’m not saying not to date. I’m not saying you have to be celibate. I’m not advocating saying “no” to every cute guy. I’m just saying think it through as best you can. You’re entering something much bigger than you might realize. Getting hooked up with someone can look like a safe haven. Unfortunately, it can turn out to be a hiding place.
Don’t keep yourself from growing as an individual. Explore. Discover. Find out a bit of who you are. Build yourself a foundation. Don’t get stuck.
Have fun,
The Dude
[Lead image via Peter Bernik/Shutterstock]
