A much more serious episode last night, let’s discuss what happened:
1. We can’t all be Regina George: When I grow up, I want to be able to throw shade half as well as Mona does. Every time that girl was on screen she gave great quips like, “Did someone spit in your cornflakes this morning?” But besides her wit, Mona was having a hard time convincing her followers to continue in their Ali torment. Lucas bought her bogus kidnapping story and Paige doesn’t want Emily to hate her. Mona lurks around the episode like a well-dressed stalker, threatening her minions. Mona can be seriously scary and I could totally see a spin-off series with her as a drug kingpin or something. She has the backbone and brains to do it.
2. Hanna undone: After last week’s revelation that she was little more than an Ali reincarnate, Hanna decided to do a reverse ombre effect on her hair and got herself black tips. It’s one step up from that skunk hair that was popular in middle school. Even though she was essentially an Ali clone, Hanna seems to be the only one still talking to the chick. It’s hilarious that the other three girls have a convo admitting to the fact that they’re avoiding Ali, so they put it all on poor Hanna. No one in this group is what I’d call stable but stress makes Hanna steal! She better not get arrested. She can’t keep up that hair in prison.
3. The problem with Aria: I don’t know how much I can take of Aria falling apart this season. I really need homegirl to put on her big girl murder/self-defense pants and let go of killing Shana. She is OBSESSED with Shana, going as far as to watch her funeral online over and over. Who has their funeral online btw? Like is that a thing? It’s not like Shana was a world leader or something. At one point Aria imagines that Shana sat up in her coffin, which was beyond creepy. Her insanity peaks when she wants to donate money to Shana’s family and Ezra is actually the voice of reason. While I will never like him, it does seem like he’s trying to be a better person by not seducing her in her time of crazy guilt.
4. Ali on the milk carton: It seems that no one is really buying Ali’s story about being kidnapped. After she tells her father that she wants to go back to school, he makes her go get an examination from the doctor after her supposed kidnapping. None of her injuries add up, and she has a massive scar on her thigh that she can’t explain. Since Ali is Ali, she tapes her session with the daughter and is forcing the other girls to corroborate her lies in case they’re questioned. They’re always questioned, so it’s just a matter of time before someone catches on.
5. My father, the murderer: If Spencer kept a diary, that would be the name of each entry. After getting her hot nerdy drug pusher, Andrew, to help her clean her family’s backyard, they find a jug of rodenticide. Not really a suspicious thing to most people but Spencer points out that the Hastings don’t have rats. They have skeletons and dead bodies in their yard but not rats. Turns out that it was bought only last week, around the time Ms. D turned up in the yard. Spencer gets her mother to break the big secret that Melissa and her father are keeping from her. Apparently, Mrs. D wanted to implicate Spencer in Ali’s murder and Mr. Hastings blackmailed her by saying that he would tell her husband about their affair. But of course, it didn’t matter to Mrs. D after the couple decided to divorce. It’s looking even sketchier after Spencer finds a bottle of medicine for Ms. D’s high blood pressure medication. Only thing is, she actually had low blood pressure.
All in all, a pretty solid episode that’s moving the plot along. But I did miss some of the typical ridiculousness and soapiness that’s usually in the show. But next week is the 100th episode and it looks like Ali is finally going back to school!! Epic bitch slap down on the way!
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Your Pretty Little Liars Cheat Sheet: Season 5, Episode 4
