“The truth doesn’t amount to much when it comes from a bunch of liars,” never have truer words been spoken about this show. And surprise, surprise, it came from Aria, one of the best liars. Let’s discuss what happened:
1. Ali, begin the worst: Ali might be stealing all my contempt for Aria! Didn’t think I could dislike someone quite as much. Cyrus Petrullo is the vagabond from last week! That’s a great name, so I’ll only refer to it in full. She tried to tell the girls she didn’t know if he did because she was blindfolded and Spencer immediately said, “Do we seriously have to remind you that you were never kidnapped?” Do we, Ali, do we?! Ali (or was it A?) did the creepiest thing by calling Spencer with Ali giving her sob statement indicting Cyrus. And even though everyone tells her not to get this Cyrus Petrullo framed for something he didn’t do, she says it was him anyway. It was after the 48 hour holding time though, so he got away with her help! She meets up with him and gives him a plane ticket. Of course, she was in on it, and she tells him “I should have left you for dead when I found you.” There’s some history together for sure. She also put her Vivian Darkbloom wig back on which was just the best.
2. Emily believes Ali, part 1 million: Again, they reduce Emily to being Ali’s biggest cheerleader. She is worth more than this!! Ali tells her that Cyrus Petrullo seduced her, stole her stuff, and gave her that scar on her thigh. And because she can’t resist Ali’s baby blues she falls for it with no problem. Sure, Ali could be telling the truth but when the truth is laced with lies, it amounts to zilch (see what I did there? I borrowed from Aria!) After Ali tells on Cyrus Petrullo, Emily shows her strong side and got her quiet rage on to tell Ali, “I am so done with you.” I will believe her until it happens next time. She did seem rather convincing telling the other girls to cut Ali out for real. #staystrong
3. Aria, the leopard with the same spots: What was with that geometric pastel dress Aria was wearing with a leopard print belt? Leopard supposedly goes with everything but I think after seeing that we can all agree not really. Her outfit was sooo distracting that I was unable to feel sympathy for Ella as Aria told her she could still “find her bliss.” That Zack being a creep thing came out of nowhere and I’m still chewing on it. She moved on from caring about her mama to trying to keep Ezra from blowing his cover by being seen with Ali in public. Of course, he can’t follow simple directions and he kind threatens Ali. That leads to him and Aria fighting. Still not invested in the dynamics of their relationship so boohoo. Did anyone notice that she wore leopard print in every scene? Clearly, the stylist is telling us that Aria is in the same rut as always.
4. Sister, Sister: Spencer had a secret cut out in her couch to hide the evidence that Ali was never kidnapped but of course someone stole it. Because she’s a genius she consults her surveillance tapes and it looks like Melissa gave it to Mr. Cyrus Petrullo while she told him to “do it, just do it.” It takes her a while but she tries to confront Melissa with no real results except Melissa asking Spencer to run away with her. They are after all, #sisters even though they never act like it. At the end of the episode Melissa records a confessional for her, can’t wait to hear that!
5. Hanna’s workout plan: Hanna decided to quit her slacker lifestyle cold turkey and get her and Caleb back in shape. They even went on a run together! The cutest. But homegirl is still living in a world of denial because she decided to suddenly care about chorus tryouts when she has someone trying to kill her. But you know what? Good for her. High school only happens once, she should have that. She goes to the auditions and Mona’s there and she can belt! Until she passes out. Apparently, she’s been having panic attacks related to Ali coming back. It seems like Mona’s been doing nothing for a couple of weeks but it turns out she has a “doohickey” (thanks, Han) aka a police scanner to figure out who really did frame Cyrus Petrullo. They don’t really do anything but it got Hanna out of her rut, so it’s appreciated.
Only one more episode until the finale! Until next time!