Love it or hate it, Tinder is the perfect time waster when you’re too hungover to leave your bed, or “doing work” in the library. It’s even a useful way to avoid making eye contact with a regrettable MO on your way to class. My greatest fear (other than, you know, dying alone) is that Tinder has become our generation’s “meet-cute,” unfortunately (brb crying). I feel sure the next Disney fairy tale will be Tinderella, starring Jennifer Lawrence as an adorably awkward girl who swipes her way to love… but I digress. Now, techies have found a way to corrupt something once pure with hacking.
A former Microsoft developer, Yuri de Souza, reverse engineered Tinder to swipe right and like every single girl on the network. He felt that manually swiping took too much time and effort. Look, I’m already 99% convinced/concerned that our reliance on Tinder signifies the end of days. It’s not even possible for romance to exist when someone’s grandparents will one day sit the kiddies down and tell them they met when good old grandpappy liked the way g-ma rocked that mirror to take a belfie. If you don’t even have the energy to even swipe, that’s both lazy and offensive. Sure, I don’t have the mental energy to communicate with any of the Tinder weirdos/potential loves of my life, but that’s because the swiping is the exciting part for me. After all, you never know when you’ll come across the Ryan Gosling doppelganger of your dreams — but when you don’t, it’s hard to settle for talking to more of a Seth Rogen-type, minus the funny.
Another hack? Some people (even ladies!) are adding “Hot Match of the Day” to their profile picture, to make people think it’s an exciting new aspect of the app they were missing. In fact, you’ve probably seen a so-called “hot match,” along with a character from the Mindy Project (Full disclosure: I’d love to meet Danny IRL, as I’m a sucker for the emotionally unavailable), a person posing with a tiger (soon to be illegal), and probably a peen. On Tinder, you never know what you’ll find. It’s basically like modern-day Chat Roulette, only less horse masks and more selfies. One of my favorite Tinder fails in recent memory? A friend was set to meet up with a Tinder-ee that evening, and he messaged her to say he had a great time last night, after getting her confused with last night’s Tinder date (looks like someone was a little too swipe happy). But hey, I do know a couple that got married after meeting with a “hey what’s up” introduction on Tinder, which proves that dreams do come true (and that there’s truly someone for everybody).
So, now, not only do we know that there’s a 50% (potentially higher) chance that we’re being swiped while the dude’s in the bathroom, but there’s also the possibility that a human being’s not even swiping at all… and who said romance was dead? Best of all, these hackers give advice on how to game the Tinder system by Catfish-ing somebody. In this Tinderellas humble opinion, you’d have more luck at a campus bar or a frat party. Sure, alcohol might be involved, but at least a robot won’t be.