If you decide to date a younger man there are a few things that need to be considered. How much younger is he? Because the older you both are, and the smaller the age gap, the less issues might come up. What do you want from dating someone younger? Of course, what do you want is a question you should ask about every relationship you put effort into. Third on the list, although sometimes it should often be the first question asked is this: How many people do I know are dating younger and actually happy?
I’m not one to bow to peer pressure or encourage you should always look at the odds. I am, however, the kind of person who thinks you should gather as much information as possible before making a major decision. If you consider this a major decision, of course.
Now dating younger can have some pros, no doubt about it, forgedda boud id, ya dig? The younger man’s going to be a bit more innocent, maybe a little more adventurous, feel a bit more secure of a choice since you, as the more experienced partner, can have more control over the relationship’s boundaries. You’re the senior partner. You have the perks. It’s like getting a bit of a do-over but with the knowledge you didn’t have two years ago, or five years ago. And lets face it: Two years can be a lifetime in college…and throughout your twenties for that matter. Unfortunately, you also have to deal with a lot of the issues you’ve already grown out of.
He’s younger so he’s probably a bit less mature than he might think he is. He’s got the energy to go all night but not necessarily the technique of an older man. Sure, he’s maybe more exciting, more romantic, or more carefree. He also probably doesn’t quite understand the realities of what it takes to work at a meaningful and long-term adult relationship. You know, the kind where you’re not living at home, are changing jobs every six to eighteen months, are figuring out what career you want to pursue, and dealing with being more independent than you’ve ever been in your life (I’m discussing a mostly well adjusted human being here, to be fair)! He’ll have some catching up to do.
The mommy issue is another biggie to consider. Oftentimes, the older woman ends up being a bit more of a caretaker in the relationship. Because he still hasn’t figured out how to be an adult yet as much as you probably have. So some of those bad habits and practices you did when you were his age, you now have to clean up for him. Now, with the age gap, with possibly a maturity or a social development level or two between you, is there a chance you can be partners?
Because that is what a relationship is. It’s a partnership. And I can’t think of many (actually any) relationships in college or people in their twenties where he was more than two years younger than she and things have progressed happily for years and years. None. Zero. Which means that the couple that can leap over the age gap is the exception to the rule.
So here’s my tip: Don’t expect to get much of a challenge. Don’t expect it to last long. Don’t do it. Unless “dating” means sport-f*cking in your personal vocabulary. In that case just have at it.
Disagree? Agree? Let me know your story in the comments section below!
Bursting the bubble,
The Dude
[Lead image via auremar/Shutterstock]
What To Know About Dating A Younger Guy
