Let’s be real, here. No one actually ever needs to call anyone anymore, unless it’s officially an emergency. If someone’s calling me, I immediately assume the worst. Sure, a phone conversation can be way more effective when you’re trying to make plans and you’ve been exchanging texts for hours, but it’s just such a commitment. Plus, a phone call means you can’t express yourself with emojis or send every single one of your friends a selfie to see if you should wear those boots with that dress or nah.
The only time I really hear my ringtone is when I wake up in the morning, because I’ve set my phone alarm (full disclosure, it’s marimba) in 5 different ways and can’t get enough of the snooze button. That means that whenever I hear my ringtone in the real world, it’s more cringeworthy than exciting… but all that would be so different if Sting was singing my ringtone, and receiving my voicemail. The world would be a happier place if “Stingtones” existed. This is the technological innovation America needs.
Follow Margaret here.