Your "Vampire Diaries" Cheat Sheet: Season 6, Episode 5

Have we talked about  the teasers on this show? Let’s talk about the teasers on this show! They’re great! This week was especially flawless since we go t to see Stefan get rid of Ivy. But before we get to that point, let’s discuss what else happened: -That sexual tension between Caroline and Stefan when she was talking to him in her towel! Of course, she wants to speak to you Stefan, ALWAYS. How long are they are going to pretend that he’s oblivious to their lurve? – Oh, so Elena still on this kick of not wanting to remember Damon. She’s running around calling him a serial killer, which is not the nicest thing to say about the man you now know you were madly in love with. Compassion Elena, get some.  And she still seems to filling her time with Cute Brag. – The writers of this show are the best at coming up with new party locations. Last week we were in a secluded watering hole, now it’s corn maze, which is as equally terrifying as it is magical. -STAND-OFF between Ric and Stefan. They were essentially fighting about who loved Damon more. I’m going with Ric. He does everything with all his heart. – That awkward moment when you make assumptions about people being hung up on their ex and then they reveal their ex is dead. Oops. – “You look pale, does blood make you squeamish?” The BEST thing to say to a vampire struggling with addiction. – Caroline is a saint. Stefan is being the most selfish. Who tries to skip town and dump a new vampire on their so called friends? We get that he’s grieving but she’s the last person he should do that to (which is why he does it! Raising the stakes 101.) – This episode really turned into an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” All of a sudden it was all “dying bodies in a  cornfield!” Damn Tyler, for being the worst and running over people in a cornfield. Drive much?  Elena put her doctor skills to the test which really meant, “let-me-use-my-vamp-blood-to-save-people,” which is not really a thing you learn in med-school. -Douche-kabob! Douche actually might be the worst thing you can call someone on this show (thanks, basic cable). At least Damon is trying to re-invent the word. And then Douchekabob-back-from-the-dead-with-a-crossbow! Should have expected that Kai would shoot Bonnie and Damon down as they were about to go home but it was still a surprise. – Liv’s little display of suffocating that guy for Tyler so that he wouldn’t turn back into a werewolf was about the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen on this show. But then doctor boy gave someone a tracheotomy in the next scene. My eyes about fell out of my head for two minutes. – Bonnie gurl, sometimes self-preservation is the best thing. She always saves the other person and it’s getting old now. It’s her “fatal flaw” blah blah blah but when will it actually pay-off? It won’t. STOP. But on the bright side Damon is back in the real world, turn up! – Alaric needs to go to one of those self-help seminars entitled “You Deserve Love.” He deserves everything beautiful and wonderful in this world but luckily, his little trick to compel the doctor lady didn’t work and she still wanted to kiss him. If there’s anything this show is trying to promote, it’s that women love damaged men. And he’s the king of that. – Liv’s storyline is now about mercy killing. That works. And that Ivy girl got taken by Tripp. Cool. *shrugs* – Playing M83’s “Wait” in anything makes the scene the most dramatic. It was a perfect pairing to Stefan’s soliloquy on talking to his dead brother. His dead brother who comes back and drinks the bottle of bourbon he was about to smash! Damon’s a stud. With Damon back will Elena still want to forget him? Probably! Well, at least for 3 episodes. I’m taking bets on that one. Until next time! Check out previous Vampire Diaries episodes here.