I’ve always said that colleges should work on offering classes that are actually useful in the real world. Real talk: I’m not often asked to do math (other than when I’m attempting to split up a bill, and subsequently failing, but that’s what phone calculators are for), do a quick translation, or explain, in detail, Foucault’s theories, and those are all classes that I took. I would love to know how to send an e-mail that doesn’t have an excessive amount of exclamation points but still sounds friendly, how to force a boy to date me without having to pretend that I’m super chill and like beer, and it would’ve been beyond fabulous if I learned a trick to make myself go out in the world when there’s a Netflix marathon that I’m deep into.
Luckily, Ball State University has a class that’s actually useful. I have 0 interest in living in Indiana (unless it’s Pawnee), but I might take a quick trip to Muncie to learn how to land a date.
They’re offering a leadership and communication class called Cardinal Chemistry (side note: “Leadership and Communication” sounds like the major of college football players everywhere). The purpose of the class is to see if two people can find love (in a hopeless place?) and make a genuine connection. You know, I think the likelihood of that happening in a college course is about as likely as meeting your future husband while 8 vat cups deep at a frat party, but that’s just me.
Three dudes from the class volunteered to be the bachelors. Their faux relationships are created by the class, which is focused on romance, storytelling, and psycho-analysis. Like an episode of the actual Bachelor, mixers were held to choose the eligible ladies. They had a speed dating event that involved chatting for a couple of minutes, like sorority recruitment gone wrong. The girls took a personality survey, and the guys had to evaluate each date via survey.
The dates were all planned perfectly, and involved basic romance like trips to Panera Bread (why not Chipotle?), and Instagram favorites like visiting the pumpkin patch, no filter necessary. The boys even made dinner for the girls. I love this class, because it sounds like a reversal of fortune. The dudes are forced to cook and evaluate everything about their relationship. I wonder if they also made sure their texts were perfect, with input from the class.
One of the couples already called it quits because the girl in question was busy with her Architecture major. It’s unclear if the other couples are still going strong, but I can only hope that at least one of them ties the knot. It would be the ultimate meet-cute for our generation.