4 New Year’s Resolutions You’ll Actually Keep

I’m a firm believer in not making new year’s resolutions, because no one actually keeps them for more than a day. Sure, you head to the gym once or twice and Instagram it for proof of your #fitspo, but that’s not losing 10 pounds like you promised yourself. You’ll try kale once or twice, but it won’t replace your hungover need for macaroni and cheese. And you’ll promise yourself that you’ll stop drunk texting your ex, but after a few too many Fireball shots, you can’t keep promises to anyone.

Before you start feeling too disappointed in your lack of 2015 accomplishments, here are some resolutions you know you’ll actually be able to keep.

1. Watch more Netflix than 2014

netflix funny

No need to get ahead of yourself and hashtag everything with #newyearnewme, because the truth is that you’ll probably be the same old person, anyway. I’m going to be honest with you — I rang in 2015 far too hungover for someone my age, with fake eyelash glue everywhere… which is the exact same way I started last year. You may think that your 2014 wasn’t productive, but think again — about everything you watched on Netflix. As long as you binge-watch more than last year, you’re truly accomplishing something.

2. Find a new douchey dude

frat boy uniform

You could say that this is your year to find your Prince Charming, but college is full of frogs and frat boys, not royalty (unless you count the Homecoming King). So, instead of promising yourself that you’ll find the man of your dreams at a party that involves Andre and jello shots, commit to pursuing a new douchey dude. Even if he isn’t exactly the gentleman caller you hoped for while reading 50 Shades of Grey (not everyone can be a multimillionaire in their twenties), he’ll be better than your last one. New year, new douche canoe. Like Taylor Swift, it’s time for your next mistake (and for an incredibly cute crop top, which should be the easiest resolution of all).

3. Stop obsessing over engagement announcements

funny engagement photo

This one might be the hardest of all, but with enough alcohol, you can do it. It might seem like every girl in your sorority had a candle passing and your hometown is full of teen moms, but enjoy planning your Pinterest wedding. After all, the reality is that it will probably be better than the real thing (although an open bar is hard to beat).

4. Care less (about everything)

college girl

It can be beyond easy to go crazy over classes, dudes, or even extracurriculars… but at the end of the day, you’re not going to remember getting a B+ instead of an A, or the ridiculous gossip going on in your pledge class. I’m not telling you to drink until you don’t care, but I am saying you should care less about everything that only seems important at the time. Once you can keep that resolution, you’ll have the best ever 2015.

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