Over Thanksgiving, my grandmother casually said, “I was supposed to go on a date, but then he died.” My father asked if he was just trying to get out of it… but apparently, my grandmother was perusing The New York Times obituaries one morning (casually, like people do), when she found the man she had plans with.
While this was very much real, faking your own death to get out of a date is a little too morbid. Sure, sometimes you say yes to that guy who’s a friend of a friend, or the one who looks totally normal on Tinder, only to realize that you’re far too in love with Netflix and wine to abandon them for a night out. It’s understandable, because a Gossip Girl marathon never lets you down, but it’s entirely plausible that a date that seems to go perfectly well might never call you.
One British lady was internet dating, when she decided she’d had enough of a particular suitor. After their third date, she tried to cancel any future meetings. Despite her texts, her guy wouldn’t get the hint and started sending threatening messages. So, instead of blocking his number or threatening to leak his nudes, she pretended she was dead. Unfortunately, her gentleman caller wasn’t deterred.
Now, that’s how you know you’re irresistible — when your dating game is so good that a guy tries to go out with you, even while you’re in the hospital. After the fake death, the “bad date” in question finally stopped texting her. Unfortunately, he found her on the same dating site a couple of months later, and he sent her a message expressing his displeasure.
Luckily, this story had a happy ending. The woman in question is now engaged to be married (unclear if they met on the same dating site). The moral of the story? If you’re ever looking to escape a dude, just tell him you’re dead.
Don't Want To Go On A Date? You Can Always Fake Your Own Death
