Your Pretty Little Liars Cheat Sheet: Rage Twerking Edition

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This week was highly entertaining for one reason: Hanna. This girl deserves everything she wants because she’s a fighter. Don’t cross her. But before we get to her amazingness, let’s see what else happened.

Emily

She had a purpose this week!!! And a good one at that! Who knew that Emily could dance? She did her best to teach struggle bus Hanna how to twerk and gyrate to “Bang Bang,” a great pick for a female empowerment moment. Emily proved that she can also be a good friend by agreeing to fill in for Hanna since she flipped. At least her lack of plotlines helps her help others. That should be her slogan, “Doing nothing to help others.” She did have a slight storyline with sketchy-ass Talia. How old is this woman supposed to be? But at least ABC Family believes in equality when it has age inappropriate love interests for its leads.
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“You’re the girl my wife is sleeping with!!”

Turns out, Talia lied to her husband about Emily and said that she was just a phase. Emily kicked her ass to the curb and for that I’m proud.

Spencer

We’re still on this Jonny plot unfortunately. For some reason she’s still infatuated with this pretentious tortured artist and it’s definitely causing a rift between her and Cadet Toby.
italian diss

How do you like someone who disses people in Italian?

For some dumb reason, she thinks it will be a good idea to drive the getaway car when Jonny steals his graffiti art from a gallery. This makes zero sense considering that Spencer has been all “I need to stay out of trouble.” Well, this ain’t the way homegirl.
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Using the mystery mobile as the getaway car

But you know what, it’s probably in her blue blood nature to be a patron of the arts and this is just her way to help. During their getaway, Toby stops them and he arrests the dude. Spencer is all “how could you?!” And Toby is all “I’m a man of the law now, and I’m protecting your ass from investigation.” And how does she repay him? By letting Jonny kiss her. Mmmhmmmmm. I hope she can feel all the shade I’m throwing her way.

 Aria

She spent most of her time chasing after MMM. He flipped on her a million times, and it almost seemed like he was having a fit from roid rage. When he flipped the coffee table on Aria, I was actually afraid! He did all this weird stuff like hiding vials of blood in trees and using Morse code necklaces, something I never even heard of.
morse code necklace

Apparently, this says “I’m with you” (cue Avril song)

Turns out that Mona was supposed to fake her death for ‘A,’ and she planted all her blood at house so it looked like she’s dead. Problem is, Mike thinks she’s actually dead now.
tears of an angel

Tears of an angel

There’s a lesson in here: don’t fake your death for a notorious blackmailer/stalker/kidnapper!!! Duh.

Hanna

If Hanna is not your favorite, then you are dead inside. (I would say I’m joking or no judgment but we both know that would be a lie).)Everything she does is like straight out of an episode of “I Love Lucy” or something. Her wacky scheme to join the pageant for $20,000 is inspired.
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“I’m the girl who got in trouble for eating the toothpaste at fat camp…What? It was minty.”

She even got herself a bitchy pageant coach to show up at random moments and put her down. ‘A’ played a mean trick on her by making her think that her evil stepsister, Kate, joined the pageant but it led to an incredible rage filled dance that was EVERYTHING.
rage dancing

I could watch Hanna snap all day, everyday.

Don’t listen to your haters Han, you won the pageant of America’s heart!

Celebs Celebrate Mardi Gras – See the Wild Pictures!
Celebs Celebrate Mardi Gras – See the Wild Pictures!
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