Santa Claus is real. If you stepped on a crack you would break your back. If you cross your eyes, you’ll stay like that forever. We were lied to a lot as kids, even from some of our favorite TV shows:
1. A watermelon would grow in your stomach if you ate the seeds.
I pretty much had nightmares for weeks.
2. It’s perfectly fine for a nine-year-old to live unsupervised in New York City.
He also had the most kick-ass bedroom.
3. Spongebob Squarepants was an innocent program.
They didn’t even try to be discreet.
4. Black people were turquoise.
And he was good at basketball? C’mon Nickelodeon.
5. Kenan and Kal’s friendship would last forever.
Don’t count on a reunion. Literally ever.
6. Amanda Bynes is a model child and could do no wrong.
Apparently she did A LOT of wrong.
7. Extreme sports was an activity that everyone could easily pick up.
And at any age.
8. There would eventually be something scarier than Are You Afraid of the Dark?
How was this on Nickelodeon?
9. Squirrels could live underwater with the right equipment.
And there’s water under water.
10. Talking to animals was perfectly normal.
And they understand everything you’re saying.
11. Hiding a secret lab from your parents was super easy.
Don’t mind me, mom. Just cooking some meth downstairs.
12. Someday you’ll have a teacher as cool as the lady from the Magic School Bus.
No one came close to Ms. Frizzle.
13. Your friends will come visit by climbing through your bedroom window with a ladder.
The front door is just so lame, amirite?
14. That eating cake is bad.
You can have your cake, and eat lots of it too. I refuse to believe otherwise.
15. Topanga was a beautiful name.
This was definitely going to be the name of my first child.
