After nearly 24 years of being single, I had it down. I was cool with bringing my female friends as my dates to sorority formals and not getting a call back for a second date. College ended, and I legitimately enjoyed exploring New York City as a single twenty-something. There were so many guys to meet! Tons of new friends and friends of friends to hang out with! So many funky happy hour spots to try!
Until I went on a casual ice skating date in December. Six months later and he’s still around.
I’m happy as hell, but sometimes I can’t help realizing how different I am in ways. Who is this girl holding hands in public? Did she just skip the gym to hang out with him again? Why isn’t she talking to anyone else she is out with? Single Me would text my friends and vow that I’d never do these things. Single Me hates Relationship Me. Help.
Remember how annoying couples were back when you were single? You are now half of that annoying couple. Read on for all the things you swore up and down you’d never ever do with a boyfriend…until you got a boyfriend.
1. Participate in gross PDA
Approximately no one enjoys watching two people hug in the middle of a crowded sidewalk or kiss on line for burgers at Wendy’s. Especially single people. But guess what? Couples like to pretend no one else is around and/or rub it in your face that you’re single and they are not.
2. Spend tons of money on him
Having a boyfriend is expensive, no matter how generous he is. You’ll quickly find yourself shelling out money on gas or train tickets to see him, buying him a birthday gift, or spending a fortune on date nights that involve more than Chinese takeout and Netflix while his roommate joins in. Single people don’t get it. Honestly, neither do we.
3. Post cheesy couple pictures on Instagram
No one wants to be that girl – the one who is constantly posting statuses about “Mini-golf night with bae <3” or kissy, cuddly Instagram pics. Or the Holy Grail: putting his handle in your bio. But once in a while, you can’t stop yourself from uploading and watching the likes roll in.
4. Drag friends out on double dates
You have single friends, he has single friends, so naturally you quickly forget the torture that is going on a blind date and convince your friends to come meet his friend. We don’t know the official stats, but we’re fairly confident that the success rate for these types of things is low. But that is not going to stop you from playing matchmaker anytime soon.
5. Gain those “relationship pounds”
We all know someone who has let their former priority of heading to the gym every other day fall to the wayside once they were seriously dating someone. We all swore that wouldn’t be us. But finding time to get to the gym isn’t as easy as it used to be. You might even combine gym time and couple time by starting to go for runs with your man, another thing you promised yourself you would never do.
6. Spend hours making a “Future Wedding” Pinterest board
The last thing you want to do as a single lady is watch Say Yes To The Dress or Four Weddings. When you’re in a relationship, these shows suddenly become very interesting. You just start pinning a few cute party ideas and six hours later, you have your wedding gown (and a back up…and your bridesmaids dresses) picked out.
7. Talk about him all the damn time
Your eyes used to roll out of your head when a friend would bring up her guy out of no where while you were out for the night. Now you’re the one trying to stop yourself from finding reasons to bring him up while your friends threaten to take your phone away because you can’t stop texting him everything that happens.
8. Go out with a group and only talk to him
Couples who isolate themselves when going out with friends for the night are the worst, right? Actually, keeping your hands off each other and talking to the group is a lot harder than it sounds when you’ve spent all week working and you finally have time to catch up. Suddenly the two of your are isolated in a corner and excusing yourself to leave early because you just want to cuddle. Lame but true.
9. Do chores with or for him
Chores are annoying when they’re just for you. There’s no way you’re going to do someone else’s too. But then you find yourself offering to throw in a load of laundry for him or take a ride to Home Depot to help him pick out paint colors. Who are you?!
10. Choose to stay in with him rather than go out
When did the idea of staying in to watch a movie and make dinner on a Friday night become much more appealing than dancing until dawn at your favorite bar? Oh yeah, when he asked you to.
11. Share your pizza
It’s not just your pizza – now you’re sharing everything from your bed to your time. And somehow, you don’t mind half as much as you thought you would.
12. The “We” thing
Goodbye, individuality. It was so nice knowing you. Girls and guys in relationships probably do this without even thinking about it, but all your single friends (and former single self) are thinking, “Oh, it’s we now, is it?”
13. Baby talk
Hair used to stand up on its ends when you had to listen to your couple friends call each other pet names or cutesy talk. But don’t worry, no one minds when you do it. It’s cool when you do it.
14. Ditching friends
It’s been done to you, and it irritated the hell out of you. However, somewhere along the line, you’ve probably canceled plans with a friend because your guy invited you to a family picnic or got tickets to a concert. Yeah, they got over it, but they’re not going to forget.
15. Call your boyfriend your “best friend”
Literally the most vomit inducing thing ever. Until you thought it. And said it. And meant it.
You right now:
[Lead image via Shutterstock]