The Scale (A Point By Point Synopsis Of How Men See Women As Told By The Dude)

This could come as a surprise to some of you, so I want you to sit down before reading this. Okay, here it goes: It might be possible that some guys may or may not be superficial buttholes. (Pause for the shock to pass.)
I’ll admit it, when I’m at a bar and not doling out advice, I occasionally like to look and smile at pretty women. “But, dude, how do you know if you’re smiling at a pretty woman?” Well, curious reader, us guys have an age old method of establishing the attractiveness of a person, a 1-10 scale used to objectify and judge as if we have any right or merit to do so. This article will give a small and simple glimpse at the parameters of this scale, and though subjective for every man, will hopefully shed some light on how men use it. Warning: This scale is just what we see, there a million other things we like about you.

1 – Hair

We love hair. Long or short, curly or wavy, blonde or brunette or red, we want to run our fingers through it and feel it on our faces. I think generally the only things that we don’t like about hair is if it’s stringy, greasy, or not complimentary. An example of this is how Emma Watson or Rihanna can chop as much hair as they want off, but my ex looked like a boy when she did it.

1 – Eyes

The eyelash/eyebrow combo seems to be the only thing every female thinks of when looking above their noses, but men will notice and criticize if they’re too big, too small, too far apart, too close together, or otherwise. Sorry, ladies, but there’s a chance we’ll be looking into them for the rest of our lives, and we want to like what we see.

1 – Face

Nose, cheekbones, ears. If you haven’t heard the term “butter face,” Urban Dictionary can give you a pretty efficient definition of the phrase.

1 – Smile

Show us those pearly whites under a pair of full round lipstick-laden lips, and you’ve got our attention.

1 – Skin

Not in the Buffalo Bill kind of way, but if you look soft and smooth and feel soft and smooth, we’re never going to want to take our hands off of you.

1 – Boobs

Guys love boobs. All cup sizes are great cup sizes. Realistically, this point just comes down to preference.

1 – Body

Again, every guy is very different. I know a British guy who loves women bigger and taller than him. Every time I’m watching a game in public, somebody makes a comment about the cheerleaders. Some people like a girl they can throw around. It is what it is.

1 – Posture

By posture, I’m pretty sure I mean swagger. Walk into a room like you own it and you will. Laugh like you’re the happiest person there, and everyone will be convinced you are. If you feel like you’re turning heads and breaking hearts, it’s probably because that’s what you’re doing. Some guys find this intimidating, others will snap their necks trying to watch you walk past them.

1 – Butt

No surprise here, right? Apple, pear, or coconut shaped butts moving in just the right way will make most guys lose their minds.

1 – Legs

I can tell if a woman played softball or ran track in high school just by looking at her thighs. Long and slender are usually crowd pleasures, but strong enough so that they look like they won’t quit cannot be overlooked.
This is the superficial, comprehensive ten point scale that men use when rating a girl’s appearance. Real men will take the time to get to know you, and an ugly personality absolutely nullifies a pretty woman. Brains are more attractive, to me, than most anything a woman can use.
Some people like to mix and match these qualities, giving out a combination of numbers to establish an average. But as far as looks go, when we’re on the hunt for our perfect prey, this is our go-to method of egging our buddies on while hoping to get off.

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