You Can Now Keep A Slice Of Pizza Around Your Neck At All Times With The Pizza Pouch

We just found the perfect birthday gift for the pizza lover in your life. Behold, the Portable Pizza Pouch by Stupidiotic, the contraption that allows you to wear a “backup slice” around your neck at all times. As the most Instagrammed food in the world, how could we not have such a valuable product?
The product’s description is so full of truths it almost hurts.

No one should ever be without pizza. Sadly, (often tragically) pizza is not always available for immediate hand-to-mouth consumption. Prepare yourself. Keep and carry a backup slice with this specially designed Pizza Pouch. A durable zip-lock sealing neck-strap pie slice device. Always fresh and ready. BONUS: Just wearing this Pizza Pouch will instantly make you more popular and attractive. It’s a bold (and delicious) fashion statement. Portable pizza. The best invention since delivery.

Pizza Pouch
Before you scoff, this is actually a super convenient invention. How many times have you thought to yourself, “I wish I had some pizza?” My answer is all the damn time. What about when you’re heading into a music festival and don’t want to spend tons of money on food? Or when you’re staying over your booty call’s house and know you might need some drunk munchies after he falls asleep? Plus, like the description says, the Pizza Pouch will make you irresistible to the fellas. I’m sure this point has been studied by professionals repeatedly.


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