You and Patrick just picked up dinner, and now he’s giving you the dish about what’s up with his new “boy thing.” He’s gushing over the guy’s eyes and hair and lips…but then he says, “So, what’s up with you?” Now your gay bestie is only asking this because lately you stopped mentioning that new guy you were hooking up with (because, surprise, he turned out to be a total dick). “Nuh uh,” he says after you give him the low down. “We’re going out tonight, and we’re going to find you some new man candy.” You giggle like a teenager and agree, but in the back of your head you ask yourself, “Is this going to work?”
Behold, the advantages (and disadvantages) of guy hunting with your gay bestie.
Surveying:
Pros – When you do finally get dragged out after just one more shot of tequila, he’s going to keep you on track. He will stand in the corner and give you his honest opinion (plus any gossip he’s heard) without a second’s hesitation. Plus, your types may be the same, but the competition is limited.
Cons – Guys may see you two together and think “Boyfriend,” which puts some guys off to approaching you.
Approach:
Pros – Disinterested small talk. Some guys feel more comfortable talking to guys, and he can put on his best, “Whoops, sorry, bro” voice after “accidentally” spilling his drink. Then you come and save the day.
Cons – There are a few guys out there who have exceptional gaydar. There are also guys who will just simply think, “This guy is creepy and giving me bedroom eyes.” Not every guy can be comfortable enough in his sexuality to be comfortable enough with this.
Extracurriculars:
Pros – I’m not saying every gay guy I know has or knows someone who has controlled substances, but if you (and that cute guy you’ve been talking to for an hour) are into that kind of thing, I’m sure it’s worth asking about. If PG-13 is more your speed, your bestie will show no judgement about a late night Taco Bell run.
Cons – Killer dance moves will throw a guy off. Bumming cigarettes off every guy passing by is a little annoying (and possibly even intimidating). Waterworks over seeing your bestie’s ex with that bitch he was dumped for will ensure a cab ride for one back to his place.
Closing:
Pros – Will encourage nefarious behavior.
Cons – Will encourage nefarious behavior.
Morning After:
Pros – You will get breakfast and talk the dirty details about what happened after he disappeared from the bar unexpectedly. Estranged talk about the possibility of your future together over coffee while you’re still deciding whether or not to text him back.
Cons – He may be outside your window trying to sneak a peak at…the situation. Possible jealousy.
He only does it because he cares!
