Target To Close 13 Stores, Basic White Girls Grieve Loss

My Target trips usually include running in to get a birthday card and coming out with 17 picture frames, a lamp, a bunch of throw pillows, tons of snacks, and maybe a t-shirt. Isn’t that what happens to every basic white girl?

Unfortunately, Target has seen better days. After the credit card database breach two years ago and a failed attempt to expand into Canada (let’s also not forget that one time Target played porn over the loudspeaker), the one-stop shop is announcing it’s closing the following stores:

  1. Austin North East (Austin, Texas)
  2. Suncoast Pasco County (Odessa, Florida)
  3. Casa Grande, Arizona
  4. Victorville, California
  5. East Flint (Flint, Michigan)
  6. Columbus Southwest (Columbus, Ohio)
  7. Northridge (Milwaukee, Wisconsin)
  8. Superior, Wisconsin
  9. Springfield, Ohio
  10. New Ulm, Minnesota
  11. Ottumwa, Iowa
  12. Anderson, Indiana
  13. Dixie Highway (Louisville, Kentucky)

Gasp! Fortunately, if your go-to location isn’t on this list, you are safe – for now, anyway. But be on the lookout. With the store’s stock plummeting everyday, no one is safe. And how could you possibly live without your neighborhood Target/Starbucks combo?

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