The Stressful Timeline Of Finding A Spring Break Beach House

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The moment you looked up the dates for spring break on your school calendar (well, actually your mom sent you eight texts in a row begging you to tell her if you wanted to come home or not), you promised yourself that this would be the year you actually got your act together and planned a spring break trip. You’d rally the perfect group of friends to find the perfect yet affordable house in the best and beach-iest location. Of course you wouldn’t procrastinate/forget about it until the week before like you’ve done every other year since the beginning of time.

For the three of you that actually followed through on your resolution to make spring break plans in advance feel free to disregard what I’m about to say. But for the rest of us still scrambling to make sure we have a place to stay that isn’t our car/with someone’s weird middle-aged cousin, read on for the real timeline of finding a spring break house:

Early January

spring break house

If I make a belated New Year’s resolution to work out at least 4 times a week between now and spring break I’ll totally have the abs I’ve always dreamed of by March.

You promptly proceed to order an obscene amount of sushi (delivery minimums are the devil’s work) and spend the evening on the couch digesting/watching Real Housewives/not going to the gym.

Late January

After an interminably long group text convo, you and your friends decide on the perfect destination. You’ve weighed all the pros and cons (and let’s be honest you probably physically wrote out a pro/con list for each destination) and you’ve finally picked a place that you all can agree upon.

Beginning of February

spring break house

Instead of doing this mountain of reading for my class that starts in 2 hours, a super effective use of my time would be to look up houses for something 2 months away, right?

It’s never too early to start looking—especially when you don’t want to end up sleeping on the couch, or even worse, a bunk bed so rickety it’ll give you summer camp flashbacks.

Mid February

You send the listing for the perfect rental to your spring break group text—it’s right by the beach and even has pool and gym access. You’re feeling super accomplished and adult-level competent until you read the fine print and realize that just because it says it sleeps 10 somehow doesn’t add up to there being 10 actual beds. Someone promptly responds saying they’d rather die than sleep on the floor/share the couch for 5 nights.

End of February

spring break house

I’m too old to ask my parents to just do this for me, right? If this is what being an adult is all about than I’m not sure I ever want to grow up.

Beginning of March

Success! Just when you thought you were going to end up in the motel room from The Shining you found the perfect last minute rental that’s within walking distance from the beach and close to all the other kids heading out there from your school.

T-Minus Two Days Before Spring Break

spring break house

Forget finding a house, the real challenge is remember where I put my bathing suits during the hell that was winter.

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