Spring Break Horror Stories

Spring Break is a lot like Las Vegas – what happens there stays there. Even with social media, it’s sometimes best that your spring break shenanigans are kept under wraps, especially if you’re interested in post-grad employment. Let these stories of spring break gone bad be cautionary tales so your vacation doesn’t turn into a nightmare.  

Booty Shaking Gone Bad

When I was a freshman in college I packed up my bags and headed down to Panama City Beach, Florida for spring break so I could rage and tan. While there I drunkenly stumbled upon a bikini booty shaking dance contest on the beach… and of course I entered and won. After the contest my friends and I pretty much forgot about the whole thing, until I returned to my school and was suddenly being congratulated for my sweet moves.

At first, I thought all of these people had just been in Florida too, but eventually a friend showed me the video. Apparently, there was evidence of me dancing in the bikini contest. I was both proud of my moves and mortified that this video had become public knowledge at school. In a pathetic attempt at getting the video taken down, my best friend and I made a YouTube account called “Angry Spring Break Mom” and tried to harass the video owner into taking it down, with comments about how the contestants were underage (I was actually still 17 at the time), and how as an angry mom I would sue.

Unfortunately for me, the video owner and Angry Spring Break Mom went back and forth and the video was never taken down. I haven’t watched it in years, and honestly didn’t tell anyone this story until a few years after because the humiliation was just too much. Luckily, the hype eventually died down at school and essentially the video just helped solidify my clout as my dance team’s captain. — Lindsay, Delaware 

The Orgy Party

My sophomore year of college, my suite mates and I decided to throw a party. Because it was spring break and we were all still on campus, the party obviously needed to be themed, and we needed the best theme possible. Why sugarcoat the classic ‘Anything But Clothes’ and ‘CEO’s and Offices Hoes’ parties, when all we wanted to do was to get drunk and bang one another?

We should just have a sex themed party! No–better yet–an orgy party!

We worked within the confines of 8-person suite to make the most intimate and sexy college experience for the hundreds of Facebook friends we invited. To desensitize, we decorated our common room area (also our communal bathroom) with pornographic imagery and played a Hustler video on loop. To make everyone comfortable, we concocted a cleverly named vat with the cheapest grain alcohol and got a substantial supply of drugs to ingest. And we got lots and lots Reddi-wip, because, why not?

We made arrangements with the RA on duty that night: He would only say what he saw or heard–which would be nothing. But as showtime rolled around, we, the lone and lingerie-clad hosts were a little concerned we would not be able to pull it off. So, as responsible hosts, we got head start on those whip-its and laid into our ‘Sloppy Pussy’ Everclear potion.

It was when the guests started to show up that the details of the party began to blur. Too many of the guests we invited actually showed up, and our suite was swarming with a huge crowd of rowdy of stripped down college kids.

Music was blasting. Skin everywhere. Whipped cream being licked off every area of the body. All of us drunkenly ‘mushing’ into one another. When the vat went dry, and the whipped cream and drugs had run out, we not so dexterously put on layers of clothing to go get even sloppier at the closest bar. To this day, no one has ever come forward about being part of the party. But, everyone did say they left satisfied. — Taylor, Wisconsin

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Dude, Where’s Your House?

My friend and I drove to West Florida (always a bad sign) to meet another friend. We went to a gay bar, and then were looking for an after party. Some rando invited us to “his house” and we went. When we got there a dog came and greeted us and soon went to the bathroom on the carpet, but no one seemed to care. Then, we noticed that the guy who invited us wasn’t in any of the photos in the living room. In the end, we got naked and went swimming at this sketchy guys house, because it was still spring break. — James, Florida

Weed Brownies and Water Don’t Mix

I went to Panama City, Florida for spring break with a bunch of friends. It was a rainy, cold day so we didn’t want to go to the beach or walk to any of the party things so we ate some weed brownies for the first time. My roommate’s boyfriend came with, and he was a big stoner, so it seemed like the perfect opportunity.

I decided to venture out on my own, and when I got into the elevator I just couldn’t figure out what floor I was on. Someone had to explain it to me and then tell me how to get to my own floor, which was pretty much mortifying. And then, to add insult to injury, I ran down the hallway pretending to be a horse. After that, we went night swimming in the hotel pool on the roof (even though we really weren’t supposed to after hours), and I’m pretty sure I was convinced I was drowning. It wasn’t that wild, but it was much better than the spring break before, which was in Disney World. — Gia, North Carolina

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Helicopter Ride From Hell

Our senior year my buddies and I went to Panama City for spring break. A friend of a friend lives just outside of PCB and owns a helicopter, so we pregamed at his place and he flew us out to a huge, absolutely insane party. We landed on a rooftop and felt like ballers. We were so stoked that we raged extra hard and I ended up losing my buddy and found him early the next morning passed out in a bush about two blocks away with his pants off. Needless to say, the helicopter ride back was a hungover mess that I try to block out, to this day. — Landon, Ohio  

Romantic Roomie Getaway

My roommate and I went on vacation with my family. We got to the hotel first, before the rest of my family. So, the concierge thought that we were secret lesbians because she filled out all of my information for address because we are roommates. The concierge made it super romantic, which was sweet, but unnecessary — plus we were on vacation with my family!

here were rose petals all over the place in the room and a king bed even though we were supposed to have two twins. They kept trying to plan romantic getaways and day trips for us the entire time we were there, which was actually pretty funny. — Lola Paige, Washington D.C. 

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