This Year’s Oscars Gift Bag Has $200k Worth Of Ridiculously Awesome Swag

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I’m starting to believe celebrities who say, “It’s an honor just to get nominated.”

Even if you don’t take home an Oscar at the 2016 Academy Awards, you definitely won’t be leaving empty-handed. Distinctive Assets, the company in charge of putting together the insane swag bags for nominees, promises that this year, “everybody wins.” And given that this year’s gift bag is worth a record-setting $200,000, we believe them.

Brie Larson, Jennifer Lawrence, and other Oscar nominees who already make a buttload of money will receive multiple luxury vacations, personal fitness training, skin creams, and more. It makes total sense.

According to The Daily Beast, here’s the breakdown of what’s inside the Oscars gift bag:

– A 10-day, first-class trip to Israel ($55,000)

– A year’s worth of unlimited Audi car rentals from Silvercar ($45,000)

– A 15-day walking tour of Japan ($45,000)

– 3 private training sessions with “celebrity wellness expert” and star of ABC’s My Diet Is Better Than Yours, Jay Cardiello ($1,400)

– Ultherapy—a laser skin-tightening procedure courtesy of 740 Park MD ($5,530)

– A Lifetime supply of skin creams from Lizora ($31,200)

– A Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” in a private villa ($6,250)

– A Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer ($249.99)

– Vampire Breast Lift ($1,900)

Yes, you read that last one correctly.

Featured by Cosmopolitan, the new secret “must have” in Hollywood is the Vampire Breast Lift procedure which uses blood-derived growth factors to revive rounder cleavage without implants. Women can now also soften implant scars and irregularities (and restore sensation). Using technology used by plastic surgeons for years to help correct post-mastectomy scarring and to heal wounds, the Vampire Breast Lift procedure uses a woman’s own blood to improve appearance. Designed for zero downtime by Charles Runels, MD – the same physician who invented the Vampire Facelift.

Bet the people who took home the Golden Globes gift bag feel pretty cheated, huh? This is the Oscars, baby, and they go big.

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