The Dos & Don’ts Of Successful Drunk Sex

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Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it…

In no way am I implying that you should make a habit of getting completely wasted and opening your legs to anyone who knocks at the door, but I see nothing wrong with the occasional ‘turn up’ in the bedroom. Before we get into the do’s and don’ts of drunk sex as told by a female, let your hair down and relax a bit. This will be fun. Let’s get into it.

Do have drunk sex; Don’t have drunk sex with a stranger

Drunk sex sounds so promiscuous and even a little trashy, but that’s the thrill of it all. It’s okay to go out for drinks with friends and continue the fun in your bedroom. It’s NOT okay to get drunk and go home to have sex with a stranger. Nine times out of 10 you’re bound to regret that decision. Save drunk sex for your friend with benefits, your significant other, or even for your ex that you can’t seem to get over. Whatever you do, don’t go selling your cookies to customers you don’t know.

Do be drunk enough to let loose a little; Don’t be so drunk you blackout

Let’s think of it as buzzed sex, if you will. One of the biggest misconceptions of drunk sex is that you must be totally hammered to have it. False. So false. Having sex while intoxicated is invigorating. It allows you to let down your hair a bit and keeps things spicy in the bedroom. It can be a time for you and your sex partner to learn a lot more about each other and the things each of you likes. Take advantage of that. You want to be able to remember EVERYTHING that happened and even more importantly, you want to remember who you were with! Have drunk sex, but DO NOT have sex if you’re wasted. Even if you wake up with someone you know, blacking out is not a good feeling. It’s extremely dangerous to have consensual sex when you can’t even remember leaving the bar—even if it is with someone you know.

Do be adventurous; Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with

Now is the time to be adventurous and allow some of that liquid courage to take you and your sex skills to the next level. It’s okay to do a little dance if you’re feeling sexy. It’s okay to stay downtown a few minutes longer than you normally would. It’s okay to ask him if he “likes it when you do this or that.” It’s not okay to do things you don’t feel comfortable with. Trust me on this one. If you’re not comfortable doing it while you’re intoxicated, you surely wouldn’t do it when you’re sober. There is a difference in adventurously trying new things and being talked into doing things you’re not comfortable doing. Don’t be fooled.

Do tell a friend; Don’t tell all your friends on social media

Better safe than sorry. No matter who it is you choose to have drunk sex with, let a friend you can trust know. Hopefully you have a friend that will let you live a little, but still cares about your safety. Remember, you don’t want to do this with a stranger. I’m also not implying that the person you choose to go home with might be out to hurt you, but it’s not a bad idea just to make sure someone else other than you two knows what’s going on. I don’t know… maybe I watch a little too much Lifetime, but I don’t think you can be too careful these days. Do not, however, be so amped up on liquid courage that you decide to post a Facebook status, Instagram picture, or tweet about your decision to have drunk sex. You’ll definitely regret that in the morning! And let’s face it… we all have a relative of some kind on at least one social media site. Who wants those problems?

Do communicate about what you like; Don’t say “I love you”

Again, this is a time for you to take your sex skills to the next level. In order to make the night what you were expecting, don’t hesitate to let your bedmate know exactly what you want and need to get off. If you’re good at it, you could even talk dirty a little—but don’t overdo it. I don’t suggest that you take this time to tell each other how much you love each other. Maybe I’m old school, but I don’t want you to tell me you love me under the influence. I want you to tell me that kind of stuff when you’re completely sober and in your right mind. Save that for later.

Do the deed; Don’t fake the outcome

When it’s all said and done, you two are here for one reason and that’s to do the deed. Considering the mentioned above, go all out! Have a great time exploring each other’s sexual desires. If you’re not completely hammered you shouldn’t have any problem staying up (awake and aroused) and that should allow plenty of playtime before you two reach a climax. Do not fake the outcome (pun intended). If you’re going to have drunk sex, have successful drunk sex. Don’t stop until you both reach your happy place. If you wanted to fake the outcome, you could have skipped the drinking and went for it. Don’t let each other down. If it means going a little longer, stroking a little stronger… go for it.

Do stay over; Don’t overstay your welcome

If you’re having drunk sex, it’s probably best you two aren’t driving. Stay the night. You don’t have to cuddle if you don’t want to, but hopes are that you do. Let it be good to you while it lasts. If you’re a couple this is probably normal, but in other circumstances it’s okay to just sleep until morning, or play the video game, or watch a movie until it’s time to leave. Whatever you do, don’t overstay your welcome. Assuming this is a nighttime engagement, just stay until morning then get out of there. Try not to be awkward about it, but get out of there.

So, again… I’m not saying to make a habit out of having drunk sex, but when you do things the right way you’re in for the ride of a lifetime.

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