It’s really fun to make fun of Gwyneth Paltrow. She makes up terms like “conscious uncoupling” while collecting paychecks from her 10 minutes of screen time in the Iron Man movies. She sometimes acts more like a robot than a human. She has a website called “Goop.” But you can’t deny that she has a killer body, especially after two kids and 43 years on Earth.
That’s why when Gwyneth shared a smoothie recipe that she claims to drink every morning “whether or not she’s detoxing” on her lifestyle site, people were pretty excited. Who doesn’t love a smoothie and who doesn’t want a bod like Gwyneth’s?
Just one problem – the smoothie’s ingredients cost approximately $223. (And I have to resist the urge to cringe when Jamba Juice announces my total is near $7.)
Check out the recipe below:
1 cup almond milk
1 tablespoon almond butter
1 teaspoon coconut oil
2 tablespoons vanilla mushroom protein powder
1 teaspoon maca
1 teaspoon ashwagandha
1 teaspoon ho shou wu
1 teaspoon cordyceps
1 teaspoon moon dust of choice: Action Dust to soothe overworked muscles, Beauty Dust for a glowy complexion and healthy hair, Brain Dust to combat mental fogginess,Goodnight Dust when sleep has been evasive, Sex Dust, for, you know, and Spirit Dust to get that extrasensory perception going.
pinch Himalayan sea salt
pinch vanilla powder (optional)
It’s bad enough that it’s nearly impossible to pronounce half of the ingredients – hell, it looks like someone’s cat walked across the keyboard more than actual words – but the worst part is that “Moon Dust” is just an expensive edible powder sold by Goop for $60 a pop. We’re not going to give you our money, Gwyneth – you clearly don’t need it. But nice try.
So pretty much if you want Gwyn’s bod, you’re going to have to pony up some dough.