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Have you ever sat back with a beer and thought, “You know what this is missing? Woman’s instinct.”
We all have, obviously, which is why a company called the Order of Yoni is brewing a beer made with vaginal bacteria. It may be worth noting that “yoni” is Sanskrit for “vagina or womb.”
So why exactly is this happening? I can’t give you an answer, but here is theirs.
Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want…
Or you’re sitting alone on a Friday night with a pint. Same thing.
We use the bacteria in the production of sour ales, lambics, flanders ales, and sour stouts. By using Yoni bacteria in the process, the beer contains femininity and woman’s instincts.
If you’re hoping they go into more detail on how they literally bottle a figurative thing, you’re out of luck. From what I understand, someone swabs the vajayjay of Czech model Alexandra Brendlova. But truly amazing stuff.
Check out more on the Order of Yoni beer below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmpO2ToLswc
Don’t run out to the local 7-11 to grab a six pack just yet. The Order of Yoni is currently seeking 150,000 euros of funding on Indiegogo. Apparently that’s what it costs to get that bacteria, cleanse it, harvest it in a lab, and send it to a brewery…and also keep that model happy.
If you’ve got 10,000 euros to spare, you’ll get 60 bottles of vagina beer made with your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria! But be prepared to hit up a gyno in Poland or Germany for a swap session.
So far, they’re not having much luck. In a week, they’ve only raised 234 euros.
Insert your own joke about going down here.
